What about oral sex and karezza?

Submitted by Karezza Korner on
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(Rachel) As for oral sex, I have come to learn (through Diana Richardson's wonderful books) that for a woman, the way to open her up sexually is through her breasts, not her clitoris (and this has been such an affirmation of how I have always felt). When you put too much attention on the clitoris, it actually causes the vagina to contract, not relax and become welcoming. She says if you *are* going to direct attention to that area, it is much better to do it after things have already warmed up, so to speak.

My lover has never been one to be goal-oriented about making me orgasm through oral sex (thank goodness). He just likes to look around and taste and play around down there and does it in a very slow, sensual way that I love.

As for him, I have had to slow down my "play" with his penis because he is now so very sensitive (through wonderful karezza). My goal is not to bring him to orgasm (but this is not to say there hasn't been a quickie now and then with that goal--we aren't a "perfect" karezza couple, lol). Now I mainly try to lavish love upon him through my touch (mostly) and mouth (sometimes--but not as much as before because it is so very stimulating).

Once you start practicing karezza, you will find that you'd rather be connected "PVI" [penile-vaginal intercourse] than anything else~~the other stuff is still nice, but just not as wonderful as being "plugged in."

(Darryl) We really moved away from oral sex. Once i stopped orgasming it became clear to the both of us that all the enjoyment and energy was between the penis and vagina. So other forms of sexual interaction simply fell away. I think you will find your penis, and especially her vagina, will become much more sensitive.

It's like the vagina wakes up and becomes alive in a new wonderful way. My lover calls to me with her body, her vagina, her being. When I hear this I cannot resist. The "calling" beckons to the "sending". When the calling is clearly heard erections will happen. The "noise" of strong friction sex can drown out the quieter, but quite powerful "calling" energy. Once there is more space the sweet music of feminine reception/calling will become louder and can be quite intoxicating. Sometimes my wife's mere presence when she walks in the room will make me hard, and she likes that.

Do what you need to do to maintain control but I would move away from highly stimulating stuff. Remember, all this will take time. Figure a good six months to really get into a consistent flow. It's a great journey. Enjoy the ride, even when you fall off.

(Quizure) I really enjoying giving this way, but we've found that if we use it during a session which includes Karezza intercourse, it almost always leads to my partner have a 'sneaker' orgasm. In fact, I'm positive that every time we've tried it, that has been the outcome. The times we've done it without intercourse, he complained of being horny afterwards. So for us, it's not something we've found to be beneficial at this point in our journey.

(emerson) As an aside, really, interestingly, oral sex is much less interesting to me now than it used to be. Dunno why. We are practicing Karezza and oral sex just doesn't have an attraction anymore. Some would say that it's all energy states, the positive penis and the negative polarity vagina channel energy which oral sex does not. Not sure. But I am not really that interested in giving or getting oral sex as I used to be even 6 weeks ago.



Oral Love

I'm so happy that you found your partner who is not goal oriented, and is open to many ways of making love. I, too, love a little slow sensual oral stimulation without focusing on orgasm. I'm glad that I don't have to take it completely off the menu :)

Great Help -

Thank you for sharing your great insights. My wife and I are new beginners to Karezza, so your insights are very helpful. Of course my wife would agree with your "no goal" oriented sex. I still struggle with feeling that there needs to be a big O in our lovemaking. My problem is that I get "impatient" and want to hurry things. However, the 3 times we have done Karezza, we had a great time and it lasted a long time ... about 45 minutes - compared to about 15 minutes with conventional sex. In my mind, I want to do both - Karezza and conventional. Glad to hear you say that you don't have to be a perfect "Karezza couple."

Oral sex and karezza

I haven't been able to mix oral sex into karezza with my wife. It just feels too O driven for me and it's harder to be close during it and communicate. Maybe someday, but for now we've chosen to avoid it.

I'm sure this is different with everyone.

For us, it depends on timing.

I don't personally like oral sex performed on me - I never have, so it's not something we do. I *love* giving to my partner this way. That said, doing it shortly before or after we have intercourse/Karezza is a sure way to an accidental orgasm for him. Every time. Doing it outside of that, gently (it feels very much like kissing to me), seems to be a non-issue for us.


Goddesses like inspiring men to conquer dragons.

I can relate

I can totally agree that the breasts are the way to opening up a woman sexually. My Ex-boyfriend knew that very well and he would always get me totally aroused by immediately touching my breasts whenever we were alone just the two of us (which did not happen very often during our relationship). Somehow, every wall was broken down immediately once he gently touched my breasts. I would just lie down and indulge in his caressing and kissing my breasts. The first two times, I didn't even want much more than that - well, I remember one time I did want him to please me orally, but he didn't do it because I hadn't taken a shower! Well, I admit I did miss the oral stimulation because I knew from a previous sexual encounter how exciting and pleasant this can be.

Anyway, I think I will have to learn a lot once I get married. I'm realizing from this site that there are lots of things I don't know yet!

Proverbs31.30 wrote:

[quote=Proverbs31.30]I I can totally agree that the breasts are the way to opening up a woman sexually. My Ex-boyfriend knew that very well and he would always get me totally aroused by immediately touching my breasts ![/quote]

Yet further evidence that the female sexual response is completely different from the male. For 99% of men, the breasts are inert vestiges. Ridiculous really.

But women have so many erogenous zones, including breasts. One woman I know refused to have breast implants because they might interfere with the pleasure that connected her head, breasts and clitoris/vagina.

Men just have the penis and prostate together. That's all.


i have found that karrezza is really about being in the moment focusing on nothing yet captivated by the whole being of my lover.
i also feel the calling as if i know where she desires to be touched and so i go with the flow of her calling and she feels my calling and we then ruly merge as one and then its all systems go and time dissapears as does performance and goals . Alli can say is Karrezza is THE REAL

AS this is my first post i am so thrilled to be here amongst fellow Karrezzians

things we don't talk about alot on here


so i had asked past partners if they had been tested and they say yes. I have even double checked by being tested myself sometime after involvement just to be certain. However, i have never requested that a partner "show me the papers/tests" so to speak. After reviewing the link it begs the question: for those of us not with a partner, in the dating world etc. how do we approach these topics gingerly? I wonder how others went about this with their new partners who may be looking in on this thread?


by volunteering your own credentials? Seems like that would be the most gracious way of bringing up the subject.

Hold breast

Yes, I agree if I just hold my wife's breast her enjoyment increases greatly. & I must admit it gives me great pleasure seeing that smile on her face. As far as oral goes I think just VPI will do us just fine. lmbjless