Porn Induced ED recovery with partner

Submitted by seanhanson on
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Hi all, I have a girlfriend and I could not get an erection for my first time with her (and my first time ever). I think its more of a masturbation addiction than porn, but either way I have trouble getting it up with her. I can go to orgasm if she is performing oral sex on me but even then my erections are not full. I have decided to stop PMO for about 8 weeks. What im wondering is how far can I go with my girlfriend? Its already been a week without PMO but she has performed oral sex on me with going to O a couple of times and I feel that might have ruined my progress so far. Can I do foreplay on her without doing anything with me? How about cuddling haha?
Also one more thing I was wondering about is about using viagra or something after a couple of weeks when I think i have recovered just to overcome any bad nerves or memories that might linger because I had REALLY bad experiences with her (tried to have sex like 6 times and I couldnt get it up) I am 19yr old btw and started PMO at about 13 yrs. Thank you very much for your time everyone!

Welcome

Who can say? It's not abnormal to be a bit less confident at the start. If that's the whole issue, then your pill strategy might work.

On the other hand, if the problem is due to chronic overstimulation of your brain (however you did it), then you want to be as consistent as possible in avoiding PMO...and even intense stimulation without any of the above. Information here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-question

Cuddling and bedroom playfulness, on the other hand, are strongly recommended. If your sweetheart isn't "getting it," maybe she could get our book Cupid's Poisoned Arrow out of the library and read the first few chapters. Ideas for frolicking are here (and three weeks of activities are also in the back of the book). http://www.reuniting.info/resources/exchange_of_the_day

Also, start your own blog if you like. Let us know how you get on.

start up times at brand new relationships

were common for me. and until the porn/ED problem i think i have now i was always able to get a good erection for my entire life - unless i was QUITE ILL . yet it was always weird with a new partner no matter how perfect everything was and how much i wanted it. we are chemical emotional beings.. don't worry... don't worry

Little different take

Marnia and Gary are the experts here, but I do have a different take.

Taking Viagra at 19 is not normal. I'm actually surprised a doctor prescribed it. Obviously I don't know about you or your history other than your use of porn since the age of 13.

If I were you I would make the goal is stop PMO entirely, not just for 8 weeks. It really does have a long-term effect of changing your body and how you think of women and sex. Once you get to the ED point, that to me is a serious flag that PMO has gone too far.

When I was 19 I had not been exposed to porn yet (other than an occasional Playboy) and my biggest problem was avoiding erections, I was still a hormone machine.

I completely understand the anxiety about not performing. That makes complete sense. Are you comfortable asking your girlfriend what she thinks about sex always needing to end in orgasm? I'll bet she feels like she needs to perform also at times. You may find that taking it a little slower and not always finishing is fine with her. That alone will help make sex more fun and take the pressure away. Porn of course emphasizes the man finishing each time and that easily burns into our heads.

I'm not advocating stopping sex or orgasm if you enjoy it. Instead I'm suggesting to slow down and also to give up on the porn. I know that is hard to to, but I've found there really isn't such a thing as moderate porn usage.

It's great that you posted here and are looking to discuss this. You'll find some great support here.

I'm glad you're here,

and are working on yourself. Avoiding PMO forever is very key. I think you have a great incentive to do so, thanks to your wonderful girlfriend. When I was your age I had the same thing happen to me (actually when I was 18). I know how it feels. At least you've been able to receive oral sex. I think your erections will get stronger and stronger as you avoid PMO.

Have you done this

Have you done this erection comparison?
1) Masturbation to your favorite porn
2) Masturbation with no porn, no fantasy, only sensation - using speed and pressure that would mimc intercourse.
What are the results? How does #2 compare to intercourse?

I am changing my opinion about using viagra to overcome porn-induced ED. If you cannot get a proper erection because your brain is desensitized, then listen to your body...and brain. Maybe taking ED drugs is like taking morphine so you can go out tonight dancing on your badly sprained and swollen ankle. What's your ankle gonna feel like the next day, or the next week?

Hey there, Gary and wfk007

Hey there,

Gary and wfk007 are spot on about the ED drugs. The way to regain legitimate confidence in your member is by achieving consistent erections naturally, through the rebooting process. As far as rebooting with a partner I feel that sex did slow my recovery. But the real enemy is porn, if you can avoid that demon, while also doing your best to limit sexual encounters as much as possible(which I understand is difficult), you will be well on your way to recovery.

All the best to you,

C