(Darryl) You ask what our process was when we chose to do karezza. Well, I was the one who started the process when I stumbled across some Taoist information recommending a non-orgasmic approach. I was struck by it right off, and although I had challenges mastering ejaculation control in the beginning I did not have trouble seeing how much better our lovemaking was without orgasm.
My wife and I have always had an easy, pleasurable sexual relationship, so we both leaned into it fairly easily. We didn't really struggle about it but simply felt our way. Back when we started there was no information available about the woman abstaining from orgasm, so I was the only one who was non-orgasmic. In fact, because I wasnt orgasming she actually had more. Eventually she intuited that her not orgasming would be beneficial as well, and we both became non-orgasmic. I think we both feel we were destined to walk a path of sexual exploration and expansion.
As far as the benefits go, I could write pages, not only about how wonderful karezza-style lovemaking is, but also how it has so positively affected our entire relationship. We have been together for 28 years, and rarely does a day go by that we do not make sweet love. Karezza has created a delightful and playful affection between us. I find that I simply cannot get enough of her, and she loves the attention. We experience a deep warmth and a easy, fluid connection.
Do I miss traditional sex? Absolutely not! I find karezza-style lovemaking infinitely more pleasurable, and have no desire for orgasming whatsoever. There is nothing about conventional sex that draws me in the slightest. I know that she feels the same way. I'm no scientist but I gather our neuropathways are rewired. Going back to being pulled towards orgasm would take time, and probably effort. I'm definitely not interested in experimenting to find out.
I think the minds tendency to go anywhere is in the idea that there might be some pleasure. When you reach the point where orgasm doesn't hold any appeal you won't want to go there.