How do you know when karezza lovemaking is complete?

Submitted by Karezza Korner on
Printer-friendly version

(Mrs. TFB) We used to feel a little awkward and confused if one of us ended conventional sex for whatever reason, but that's because we were focused on ourselves. Now that we practice karezza, we stop because we both intuitively feel it is time to stop. No hard feelings, because we're on the same page. There are no expectations other than giving to one another, so if it's okay.

(lovers13) I think the beauty of karezza is you can make love with your wife 1) as long as you want, 2) as many times as you want and 3) at any time you want. When to start? Whenever anyone of us want. My wife doesn't refuse me anymore if I want to and I also don't refuse her. But usually we initiate together. Arousal, erection, wetness don't matter anymore. And when to stop? For us we stop when we have stuff to do or get interrupted. There are situations when we just connected for minutes and got interrupted. And there are days when kids were away and we made love all day with few short breaks in the middle. I remember last year when our kids had a picnic in their school on a holiday, we had a picnic in our home.

But for a beginner my advice would be to stop when you feel getting close to the edge. With time when things will get under your control, you will be able to lose track of time and make love for hours. But for that I think one should emphasize more on relaxing side of karezza first.

(Darryl) I remember that first time when I didnt ejaculate and had the thought, "soooo when is this over?" It was a wonderful moment because I realized a whole new world of potential was opening up and sex could become something new, something tranformative, and experience where my ejaculation didn't signal the end. How did we deal with it? I suppose we just let it unfold and go where the feeling took us. It was like finding a new room in your house you didnt know was there with all sorts of stuff in it you never saw before. Couldnt wait to go back and discover more, get to know what I didnt notice last time.



yes, yes

I love that natural ending feeling, its such a together feeling, like a soft landing. Kind of like riding waves, either the waves get still or you find yourself laying warmly on the beach. Much sweeter than the "face plant in the sand effect" of conventional sex. Like the end of a chapter in a book that never ends, you're always ready to pick up and read more where you left off.

Other comments on this and related subjects

  • We both have difficulty getting our heads around the "amorphous" nature of this, and don't know when to stop. We're both thinking "if we're not going for anything, and orgasm is 'off the table' - when do we stop - 2 minutes or 5 minutes or an hour? - how much time is too little, how much is enough?"
  • My wife and I went through the "when do we stop" stuff just a few months back. Unless we are very tired, it is weird, but a feeling just comes over us, like we are coming out of a trance. That is how we know. It is truly, and I can't say this enough, an amazing journey!
  • I can't quite explain it but there is a difference and it is related to there being no goal, nothing to achieve. Almost Zen. Instead of knowing where you are going, you follow the thread of the experience, which may take you somewhere else, and usually does if given enough time.
  • We don't time it at all. We did try that at one point early on. We would say lets connect for 15 minutes. Well, that did not work. We always went longer. We quickly just went until we got uncomfortable for some reason, fell asleep, etc. Eventually, and this took only a few weeks, we noticed that we kind of went into a zone. Best way to put it. It is blissful and satisfying. When we come out of this, we are done.
  • Karezza in the morning puts a real skip in my step and starts the day off in upbeat place. I think Ive seen a number of places where morning sexual time is recommended. There's just something about morning Karezza time.
  • Even in one's hectic life I believe part of making time for Karezza is a mind set. In our culture engaging sexually is viewed as something you do when the mood strikes you or when you have time. I think the idea of thinking "practice" around sexuality is a different mind set from the way we have been brought up
  • Karezza comes first. The more you do it and realize its value, the more you hold space for it and often not fully know you're even doing it.
  • It takes time to really build and find a flow, years really. I dont think there's any short cut around this. In fact I think its a big plus as after 12 years we're still growing and moving to new places using Karezza. We may plateau for a while and then we're off again into new territory.
  • Another big concern I had was how were we going to know when to stop. We found that the process did ultimately run its course. We were amazed how we lost track of time and that an hour or two could go by before we knew it. Ultimately fatigue started to be our guide. It still feels like we are honeymooners who just can't keep our hands off one another.