Day 12 of the long journey.

Submitted by artbunekr on
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Man this is when teh real battle starts now guys. Ok Im noticing the need not to look at porn for some reason. Now maybe because I see some semi sex scenes on TRUE BLOOD the other night. Interesting thing, usually those sex scenes would not do nothing for me anymore. i would be like boo hoo their faking it and its not in anyway enticing. Of course back then I was also a heavy P&M person as well.
Last night seeing those scenes sent a sense of excitement throughout my blood. I felt excited see ing a naked womans body even for semi softcore scene. It was only 30 seconds and I didnt feel the need to M but it was triggering something in my brain for certain.

I dont care what others say, its obvious too much exposure to internet porn is not very efficient. I am noticing women more now and even getting excited more. I even M but not for O just to see if blood flow was returning and guess what it was . I was able to keep it up for awhile longer than I had for years. I wasnt once again Ming to stimulation or for stimulation. Just to see if not being exposed to the P really affected my brain as much and you know what it weas. SO now I know Im defianlty not getting ED, I know reprogramming is working. Once again the need to see P is not even there now. I got a lot of it on my computer now and I really dont think about it. Now the need to M for O comes a lot. like I said I only did it once to see if I could get it up, without any stimulation, and thats it. now that I know that I can, Im not even gonna try anything till at least week 8 now.

Since I use to M prone, I have noticed when i sleep on my stomach, the feeling and need to M prone again is very strong. the feeling of the blood rushing down there almost feels as good as a O. so I dont sleep that way. Its too much of a temptation. So I just sleep on my back now. Also I do about 300 kegals a day to make sure everything will be ready when the time comes. I dont know why Im experiencing recover signs this fast, I should not. maybe my body is trying to trick me into believing everything is ok and give me a false sense of security. Anyway I knwo this is a long battle and 6 more weeks to go, but form my last two blogs, I can definatly state that visual P and too much of it has a afect on the brain. There is something in the head a buzzing feeling that desenstize ya to the stuff.

Anytime Im actually getting excited again to see a woman in a nice short dress or bikini and 2-3 weeks I blew it off as hohum , then i know something is up with the P. Now I will admit I had a slight depressing mood on saturday and Sunday. More so on saturday though then Sunday. Perhaps the side effects of not giving the body and brain what it wants . gotta be a side effect because I never had those feelings before. Oh well Im loggin off cfor now and even sending this to the DOC. My advise for those doing this is that you take it one day at a time. You will be surprised how many days you can go without P&M as well. its a long journey but one worth takeing fellas

Thanks for logging your

ups and (minor) downs. Sounds like you're really intrigued by this experiment, which is a great mindset to have.

It's quite fascinating to watch your perception of women change and your sexual responsiveness return. I'm glad you're taking a long-term view, because the recovery route can be a bit unpredictable for a while.

I do the same thing

Once I abstain from PMO for a while.. my brain becomes soo sensitive to images on the TV or internet.. that's why I turn all my images off on my browser.. and I try to stay away from music video's and shows that show explicit content..