Submitted by onmyway on
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Everyday, my morning erections get firmer and firmer. When I wake up, I'm basically drunk with horniness.. this is an entirely new feeling to me, I've never felt this way before. Anyone have tips for how to handle this? When I wake up my hands are basically on autopilot but I somehow control myself and avoid masturbating. On day 40 I had the strongest erection I can ever remember having in my life. It was GLORIOUS!!! Unfortunately, I couldn't resist my urge to masturbate, and I went to orgasm (no porn of course). I was so pissed with myself the rest of the day, and I felt my hormones playing havoc with my emotions, too. I was kind of down and grumpy on day 41, almost a little depressed. That's a mental state I haven't been in since I started this challenge, but now that I look back at my life when I was PMO I was in it a lot. My mood perked up on day 42 and I guess time just flew by since then because apparently today is day 44. I woke up with an erection again today and I just couldn't help from laughing out loud. I feel so mischievous, life shouldn't be this easy, but it really is and the solution was right there in front of me the whole time!!! DOH =)

Excellent!

Good job not using porn. You bounced back really quickly. That's a good sign.

Have you played around with any of the energy circulation ideas?
http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-solo-energy-practices

You may also want to think ahead about masturbation. http://yourbrainonporn.com/are-there-any-guidelines-for-healthy-masturba...

Thanks for sharing your good news.

How bad was your flatline would you say? Long? Discouraging? Any changes in your penis during that time?

Marnia, I think I'm still in

Marnia, I think I'm still in my flatline period, although I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm 1000% committed to not using porn. Honestly, I simply couldn't do that to myself now, having seen the positive changes that quitting has brought about. When I woke up with the erection, I just needed to find some release. I couldn't remember ever having an erection that strong, and I didn't know what to do with it. As I continue this path I think I'll learn how to cope with them. I'm 22, and have watched porn since 15, so basically as long as I've been sexually active. It's crazy that my erections are stronger now than they were in high school, but I really believe porn did a number on my neurochemistry while growing up.

I know I'm still in my flatline because that's what I'm intuiting from my body. When I'm ready, I'll know. My flatline was rough for my penis. I don't think I had erections until day 30 or so, and then too only in the morning. The first 2-3 weeks it shrunk but I didn't pay too much attention to it. If you recall, I struggled with quitting porn a couple times before this effort, so I remembered the initial stages, which were identical. Over time though, I started getting erections again, just at random times, not triggered by anything. And my penis dropped down again and regained girth. The erections got stronger and more veiny. Day 40 I woke up and could have stabbed somebody with the thing. And that simply wasn't in my concept of reality until now.

Since day 40, my mood bounced back really quickly, and I redoubled my commitment - no excessive touching of my penis for a few days, period. I think the exercise is really helping in that regard. However, my erections haven't returned to the same strength, which is frustrating, but I'm waiting. I've also been drinking poolside all day everyday this week, so it could be stemming from that. I'm not much of a drinker. I'll be able to tone down the drinking next week so we'll see what happens then.

I'll check the energy circulation and masturbation guidelines out, but I'm probably going to be hands-off for a little longer. When I started this I thought there would be no way I could hit even 30 days, but now I'd like to give some love to my body and give it as much time as necessary. Socially and emotionally, I'm killing it, so I am in no rush whatsoever.

I'm really glad I asked

Those details help others a lot. Also, I laughed out loud at the Day 40 report. At least you can see what the thing can do. Wink Annoying how the changes bounce around for a bit, but honestly, I found other kinds of healing are very similar. Not everything is like healing a cut on your finger, where the problem obediently goes away in a linear fashion.

yup

[quote=Marnia]Not everything is like healing a cut on your finger, where the problem obediently goes away in a linear fashion.[/quote]

And I think this is especially true of the brain, where the interesting plasticity that is Hebb's law applies (neurons that fire together wire together). I've heard it said before that addiction is any behavior which one methodically assumes in order to escape from anxiety. Anxiety being a blanket term for emotions that cause stress - frustration, confusion, depression, loneliness etc. I have a feeling that in the past when I was PMO, my neural pathways for anxiety relief were a select few well-trodden routes. I used to view porn and smoke weed a lot. Alternate addictive behaviors I see in other people include other drugs, or a host of other "pseudo-stimulatory" activities like eating, drinking, watching TV or playing computer games. I consider this "pseudo-stimulatory" because I'm finding that this kind of stimulation ultimately doesn't amount to much good. I'm finding that I'm more balanced and happy with what nature intended humans to use for reward circuitry - healthy, joyful social interactions, physical exertion, positive self-talk..

This summer, I tried to avoid any stimulation whatsoever. I toned down my pot smoking a bunch, stretching out what I used to do in a week over the course of three months. Earlier, I honestly wouldn't have believed that I had control over either of these addictive behaviors, but I'm learning as I go that I do. And if you consider Hebbian theory, it makes sense. If, when one experiences angst, they solicit porn as a palliative, replacing porn with weed [slash other addictive behavior] is not a sound technique. That just strengthens the neural pathway of coping with difficulty through escapist addictive behaviors. It's much more powerful to replace that neural pathway with behaviors that acknowledge the stress, and confront it. I think this is why my feelings of sadness, doubt and inadequacy have been mitigated lately. For the first time, I'm chilling and facing the feelings rather than running away. =) I feel like once my brain starts to solidify this pathway, I'll see exponential advancements as the older pathways correspondingly exponentially decay away.

pseudo-stimulating?

[quote=onmyway]I consider this "pseudo-stimulatory" because I'm finding that this kind of stimulation ultimately doesn't amount to much good.[/quote]
Hello. I'm also looking to cut down on things that may be too stimulating. But I fail to see how the activities you mentioned are "falsely" stimulating. I'm fairly certain that eating and playing computer games light up your brain if you look at it through something like MRI.

It's all about the balance.

It's all about the balance. Eating and playing games are good, but when taken to the extreme, they are just another jail cell. Our bodies weren't made to sit in a chair and be entertained by a screen for 2, 3, 4, 8 hours a day. That's what I mean by pseudo-stimulatory - something which is just a diversion, a means to avoid confronting reality. Maybe it's not even a good term for it. Anyways, what good could possibly come out of playing computer games? You'd be infinitely better served training yourself to get that stimulation from dancing or working out or a ton of other activities. Habits are really powerful. They impact a huge part of our identity. Why not make your habits work for you, rather than the other way around?

thanks man. yeah, i agree

thanks man. yeah, i agree that it may just be experience. i know what you mean about sharing the achievements. we have a shared burden that we put upon ourselves, but we're going to get rid of it and will be that much better for doing so.