Addiction recovery and Introversion

CaptainFalcon's picture
Submitted by CaptainFalcon on
Printer-friendly version

Hey guys,
I had an okay day today, and after being awake for more than 16 hours, I still can't sleep. I had an experience after leaving my house that just reminds me of the old days before I got into Masturbation. Basically on my way to the movies I made eye contact with a guy who was staring at me very hard, so I looked back of course. I don't think he liked this very much as he got very angry and exclaimed " What the F*ck are you looking at?" Had I not been in a taxi, this would've been a fight, easily, but it reminded me of the old days when I got into a lot of fights simply because people didn't like me. I've always lived in these kinds of places where making eye contact with the wrong person can land you in a world of trouble, and this has shaped me into the guy that I am today. Introverted... Or am I?

I've done my research on introversion and extroversion, and I've taken human metrics tests waay too many times(It's so easy to manipulate lol), but I'm confused now. In 2008 when I first started this experiment , I frequently got results that said "You're an Introvert!" but now all I get is Extrovert and it's an overwhelming result too. Of course Nature vs Nurture comes into play when you look at anyone's tendencies towards introversion/extroversion, but ever since I started on this no porn thing I've slowly become more and more self confident.However, although I may be more open to meet people and I may talk better, I still flake on people so that I can be alone to watch my anime and just be by myself. I still don't like the idea of going out to clubs and parties. I still don't see the point in alcohol consumption. And honestly, I'm starting to miss playing my old favorite game. I do want a girlfriend though.

I don't know where this is leading to be completely honest, but what if Introversion is an evolutionary trait as a response to where the world has gone. Realistically speaking, there's terrorism, disease outbreaks, murder, drugs, and you really can't be too sure of the person you sit next to on the train. I don't mean to sound pessimistic either, but The truth of the world is that it's a very bad place. What if while at one time in history, we needed to be social creatures, but now we need to get a loved one and move to a quiet peaceful place away from the things of man. What if all these gurus who speak of enlightenment being "Something one finds from within" is completely true? Where would that leave the scientific data on humans needing to be in tribes?
It's like it's in our nature to be extroverted, but the world nurtures us to be introverted. Or is it just me?
Strive for optimal efficiency!

Absolutely

[quote=CaptainFalcon]I don't know where this is leading to be completely honest, but what if Introversion is an evolutionary trait as a response to where the world has gone. Realistically speaking, there's terrorism, disease outbreaks, murder, drugs, and you really can't be too sure of the person you sit next to on the train. I don't mean to sound pessimistic either, but The truth of the world is that it's a very bad place. What if while at one time in history, we needed to be social creatures, but now we need to get a loved one and move to a quiet peaceful place away from the things of man.[/quote]

I read somewhere that Londoners (and, to a lesser extent, New Yorkers) tend to avoid eye contact and conversation with strangers as a way of dealing with the constant crowds of people around them. It makes perfect sense to me - I lived in a huge, dangerous, overcrowded city and just wanted to barricade myself inside my tiny apartment on days when I couldn't escape.

By the way, clubs ARE overrated (unless there's a good band playing). Ditto parties.

So glad

I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who's like that and healthy. While I have a desire to have a healthy relationship, I love my room and frequently want to invite girls over instead of constantly wondering what we could do in a public setting. Moreover, I live in New York so yeah I know about the barricade feeling. Can you imagine if we were initially supposed to need tribes and such maybe so that we weren't alone, but over sized crowds were negative? As if it was the same thing as being alone.
Strive for optimal efficiency!

Interesting observations there

First, as a friend of mine observed, few of the gurus you hear about are living alone. They're surrounded by adoring devotees. Talk about a tribe! Not only do they have tribes catering to their every whim, they are the alphas.

That said, I think strengthening our balance from within is always a good idea. However, much to my annoyance, one of my favorite spiritual books pointed out that spiritual self-sufficiency as a path to enlightenment "denies what it would find." It meant that since the ultimate behind-the-illusion truth is that we're all one, we have to get comfortable with the idea that oneness isn't just vertical (you and the Divine), but also horizontal (you and your fellow man).

That said, I don't think you have to run around doing dangerous things. I do think it's healthy to find *your* tribe though, and not to pursue self-sufficiency through addictive solo activities. I don't think idle chatter in superficial situations is vital to achieve this, although it's a nice skill to have. (I'm right on the line between I and E, and I like that a lot.)

Apparently we evolved in groups in which it was easy to know everyone, and socializing was a key to survival. Once groups become big, and peppered with unknown, potentially dangerous folks, it makes sense that some of us swing one way, and some the other...unless we can stay centered and respond appropriately to the actual circumstances.

How intriguing

I wonder what it would be like to be on the line of Introversion and Extroversion. Maybe I'll get there on day too. I read that Introverts get energy from being alone and reflecting, while extroverts get energy from being around people. Introverts lose energy from interactions while extroverts lose energy from solitude. Marnia, what's your take on this?
Strive for optimal efficiency!

I get energy

from both most of the time. It's like, whatever is up, I can potentially enjoy. On the whole though, I don't care much for superficial chit chat with people using substances that alter their minds. Smile

I recently started a new

I recently started a new job, and so had to meet lots of new people. The strangest thing that struck me about my first few days was how my brain was analysing the faces of all these new people and picking out what bits reminded me of people I've known before. I think it's the brains way of deciding how to recognise individuals in the most efficient manner - rather than storing a bank of lots of different faces, it just remembers the common features and remembers each face by remembering what set of common features they have.

But it was only doing this because I had to get to know them, if they were strangers passing in the street I don't constantly start analysing peoples faces. It was only because these people are now part of my social group that my brain was doing this. Or so I rekon. Maybe for complete strangers it records a temporary photo shot or does something to just analyse someones emotional state to determine if they are a friend or foe, or something along those lines.

Anyway, it seemed kinda on-topic!