Submitted by Ryan Kouroukis on
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I'm wondering if anyone has heard of "dying on the cross" as a sexual metaphor in various spiritual/philosophic literature? The Gnostic Anthropologist refers to this in many of his books (for one).

- "Death" meaning the death of your EGO and personal defects.
- "Cross" meaning the crossing of sexual polarities.

I'm wondering about the benefits or detrements of this sexual spiritual practice? This is a facinating subject as many iconic illustrations and paintings from different cultures show this symbol in different ways.


Thank you Ryan for posting,

I can't say I have been successful with any type of spiritual work, but I keep trying.

I am hoping that yourself and other more advanced people would be willing to share your experiences: it can be useful to encourage the rest of us to not despair but keep at it! :)


Dying into Divinity

Hi Ryan -

Since I was not raised Christian I don't use it as part of the symbology in my spiritual growth, however, i do think that there could be a correlate made between "dying on the cross" by letting go of what you call "defects" that are hindering spiritual growth, and the Buddhist concept that since everything is transitory and therefore not graspeable, a healthy person is one who is able to continually "die" into the present moment.

Furthermore, in Buddhism, death is seen as the culminating point of a person's life (rather than the lowest point) because through death we are presented with the opportunity to finally let go of all physical, mental, and identity attachments, and merge into the luminous ground of all being, which is our true nature. In other words, death is an opportunity for the deepest liberation - if we are able to fully let go of our ignorance of who we really are (which is light).

Inbetween death and rebirth into the next life, the consciousness travels through different states or "bardos." A bardo is essentially a pause or a break between one state and another. The bardo states also manifest in everyday life, not only at death - dreaming, for example, is one bardo state. When we are in a situation, there is a pause or a break between any event and our reaction to it. Part of the spiritual quest in Buddhism is to be alert enough in the present to perceive these breaks or pauses in reality, and to use them to make a choice that is more conscious and lucid and less habitual and reactive. If the person manages to do this and to act in a way that is not merely compulsive, they have managed to let a compulsive pattern "die", and be reborn into a new one.

So not only are we constantly dying in a literal sense, we are given myriad opportunities in every second of life to die over and over again, to refresh who we are and how we relate.

Applied to sex, I would say that one reason people are so compulsive about orgasm is because orgasm provides a brief, intense moment or state of consciousness in which we are forced to forget totally who we are. This is ecstatic! We are so in the moment that let go of all habitual concepts of who we are and for a few seconds we find our truly ecstatic nature. As this website points out, most people become addicted to this brief rush of self and egolessness, and develop a compulsive attitude towards it.

I am in complete agreement with you that the time of sexual connection is a great opportunity to experience dying, and therefore healing. I myself have recently started an adventure in which I am intentionally using masturbation to bring my awareness fully into every part of my body and direct this highly charged awareness into places of illness or imbalance, and "reprogramming" a new pattern or attitude through the ecstaty. I am intentionally not having orgasms, but holding the charge for other creative pursuits. I'm happy to be exploring this alone right now, tho I am sure with a partner it could be very powerful as well.

Need Help

I got to know this site mysteriously and all of a sudden i'm scared because the information here makes me feel like i have a long way to go recover the energies i've expended on about 26 women i had carnal sex with. Out of this sex sprees, one child came as a result.

Is there a hope for me to start practicing karezza with the right mental attitude? Do I have to marry to practice karezza?

Please i need answers pretty shortly.

Please, send answers to since i don't have easy access to the internet.


You ask a lot of good questions. Smile Why not start a blog? (Sample blogs here: I have enabled you to blog, if you like. That way anyone in the community of folks at this site can discuss your questions with you. Here are the instructions:

[This paragraph is in response to Sena's comment in an email about how the Bible commands us to fill the earth.]
I'm not sure of your religious background, and I don't want to offend you... However, if you're Christian, you may want to consider how different the Old Testament is from the New Testament. The Old Testament emphasizes procreation as God's will, but the New Testament says Jesus taught that God's will is that we "awaken" so we can "return to the Kingdom." Maybe it's time to focus on that second goal. Smile After all, the earth is getting pretty crowded.

[How can one explain these ideas to a child?]
My thought is that you will find ways to explain things to your daughter as you incorporate these ideas in your life. And she may even listen. *grin* The key is to love her, so she will feel close enough to you to listen. I think you may find that one day she will respect your courage to consider new ideas with an open mind. Not everyone has this gift.

You sound like a man with a lot of heart. I hope you will share your perspective with everyone.

[Karezza and monogamy]
Personally, I believe this approach to lovemaking is healing, irrespective of marriage. It leaves people with great respect for each other, whatever may pull them apart in the future. (Warning: this practice does seem to promote monogamy. Smile ) But the real answer to your question is that it's between you and your Creator as to what's right for you. Pray and you'll receive an answer. I know this may sound silly, but you have an Inner Teacher.

I'm glad you find the site helpful.

this method promotes monogamy

It promotes monogamy for several reasons.

You build a rapport with your lover that takes a lot of time and history. It is hard to do that in a poly situation. Maybe even impossible. If several couples begin the exchanges at the same time so that everybody is in agreement and roughly the same pace, it might be possible.

Another reason it promotes monogamy is that to go outside of your Peace practice, would be the undoing of your hard earned energy state.

The biggest reason it promotes monogamy is that you are energetically tied to your lover and nobody seems comparable.

it is necessary to suspend your beliefs when searching for truth