Submitted by monkey22 on
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Hello! this is my 12 day of no porn and masturbation...last night i was chating with a girl who talk to my about really good things about her father, the love that he gave her....I literally cried, start to remember things of my childhood about my the distance I have with my father and the lack of love in my life...I felt really alone...
When I went to sleep yesterday...I have a wet dream, I did't realized totally...I was deeply slept, but whit some conscience or memory of it....maybe it was a dream...when I woke up, my underwear did't lied: a really big mess...

I don't know what happened, about my feelings and the wet dream...

Thank you.

Wet dreams

are a normal occurrence for many during the rebooting process. (Read this guy's blog: http://www.reuniting.info/blog/5940)

So are intense feelings. Actually, feelings are part of life. It's just that porn is often used to numb them or escape them...so when you don't have porn you "feel" them more.

Here's the sorry truth: Your father was probably doing the best that he could given *his* limitations. I'm sorry you didn't get the love you could have used, but he probably didn't either.

The good news is that if you can visualize the kind of loving attention you would have liked...and really feel it...you can sometimes heal some of those wounds. Apparently our subconscious doesn't know the difference between "real" and "vividly imagined." (That's why porn is so powerful. Wink )

*big hug*

thank you so much

Thank you Marnia... I think that my father didn't get love enough when he was a child... He loves me very much, I know, but both suffer about the fact that he can't talk about his feelings, so he is totally addict to food.... now is my job to cut this story and solve the same problem so if I have a child someday, I will not do the same... it's just very sad talking to him, I want him to be happy.

I predict

that the happier *you* get, the more influence you'll have. At the same time, you have to accept that he has to make his own choices.

A really powerful practice is the one Diamondsoul mentioned: listing things you're grateful for. Maybe you could do it when you're around him and see if you can get him to make his own list. Smile

very excited

i am sooo excited...horny all time...I don't know how I will get my 4 month...i am really really horny when i talk with girls and when i go to sleep...

recovering!

Incredibly my mood has estabilized, I feel LOT of better, more focused and confident in myself, working better, sleeping better, less anxiety.

Amazing: the little hairs that didn´t grown for 4 years, are starting to grow again, very slow, but in only 3 weeks of sex/mast/porn abstinence.

Today I will start doing some excersice.

Thanks thanks thanks...I will never masturbate in my life or watch porn.

Awwww....

Don't feel bad man. It's natural and in my book (and a lot of others) it is *not* a relapse. Don't do what I did. I used a wet dream as an excuse to get back into masturbating frequently because after all I came already right? I was acting like I "deserved" it because I was asleep when it happened.

The other day I had a vivid dream in which I *almost* came. Can you believe that in my dream I was actually able to stop myself? That's the kind of power that can come when you don't give up and stay on the course week after week, month after month. I could barely believe it when I woke up I felt like I'd dodged a bullet. Now I realize it's not beneficial to get down on yourself over something you have very little control over.

thanks!

Thank you! I have to say that I am still firm, more controlled, I feel that I am becoming in who I was...It's great! I really don't care about the wet dream, because I wasn't controlling it so...it is a biological process. My mood was automatically different, but not my will conviction...thank's a lot!