I found this site because I've always been interested in Karezza. I liked the idea of just caressing and not having an orgasm. I always felt so depleted after orgasms, and I always liked the gentle caressing and making out better.
I was astounded to also discover right here on this site the real reason I had been experiencing ED and libido issues for a year or two. So I decided to do a full reboot. I have gone for a little over three months strictly avoiding any stimulating videos, literature, images, and completely avoiding masturbation and orgasm.
I experienced various ups and downs, and over the last few weeks kind of flatlined again. I started to wonder if I would ever "get better." But there's really no reason to feel turned on when one is all alone, so I figured I would just have to wait.
(I've been very alone for a few years living on couches and finishing school. )
Anyway, I started thinking about how much I would like to have karezza with a new girlfriend or soul mate sometime. I also thought about getting in touch with myself a little better. I read a long post on here about someone's experiments with self-karezza, so I decided to give it a try.
I just touched my arms, stomach, legs, etc, just super gently in exactly the way I would like to be touched. I didn't fantasize, except maybe for a few flashes of thinking that I was touching someone the same way and they were touching me. I have done this the past four evenings and then again this morning. I found myself looking forward to it during the day. Happy about it. It's hard to express how different it felt to do this.
But I have to say it was intensely pleasurable, just touching, gently, my own back, sides, neck. Tingling etc.
I have touched two women this way and they seemed to positively love it. I would do it for hours. They would request it and had special names for it. I really loved to give them touches in this way. One touched me this way back. The other, more recent one, never did.
It has been many years since anyone touched me in any way. And now, all of a sudden, someone is--sort of. And this morning I nearly had an orgasm. It came on fairly quickly and I had to bear down on the PCs to stop it and I was sort of shocked but very glad I was able to stop it.
Let me also mention that the ED thing is about 1000% better these past few days. I'm not obsessing about it, but it's something one cannot fail to notice when the difference is this dramatic.
So I'm wondering. Am I just masturbating? I definitely didn't have the goal of having an orgasm, and was intensely enjoying NOT having that goal.
Can karezza be a little too pleasurable when you start out?
Do I have to stop?