Day 3 No PMO

Submitted by stiffler49 on
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Hi all, here is my story. I have been using porn in one form or another since I was about 13 years old. I am now 32 years old and was still a user up until 3 days ago. The porn progressed from magazines, then to online softcore pictures and then finally online hardcore videos. I never got into the real extreme stuff but always felt the need for new content (I had this huge collection of videos on my PC but I rarely went back to them, I was always looking for new stuff online). Throughout this 20 years of use, I probably have not gone more than 7 days at any point without looking at some sort of porn. I have thought about trying to stop in the past but rationalized that I didn't need to by telling myself "all guys look at porn and most of them are fine so what is the point of stopping, I'm not doing myself any harm." Boy was I wrong. I did not fully realize this until 4 days ago when I stumbled upon a website discussing the topic of porn induced ED. As I was reading about this, I thought to myself "oh my god, this is me!". Typically what would happen is I would meet a girl I liked, sex would be OK for the first couple months and as time went on I would find it difficult to maintain an erection during sex until eventually I would not even be able to get and erection at all. I would chalk this up to the fact that my partners weren't attractive enough and therefore it was time to move on and try another at which point I would break up with the girl. I destroyed numerous relationships with this thought process without ever realizing the true cause of my ED. The fact is all of my ex girlfriends were very attractive and it wasn't them at all, it was my problem the entire time. I finally came to this revelation after reading about porn induced ED, I had all the signs and symptoms. I feel very grateful for coming across this information when I did as I started dating a girl I REALLY like about 2 months ago. We have only attempted to have sex once (with a condom) and I was unable to maintain an erection. Another issue I have is that I have never been able to maintain an erection while wearing a condom and I feel absolutely nothing while wearing one. Always just thought condoms weren't for me but after reading about porn addiction I found out that it can cause the sensation in your penis to become decreased while having normal sex. So I decided 4 days ago to stop porn and masturbation altogether for the rest of the year. However, because I am in a new relationship I cannot go without orgasm, the girl will think I'm asexual, plus its too early in the relationship to tell her about my problem, she would probably run in the other direction. So I am here to write about my progress and keep myself on track. Its been 4 days so far and no issues as of yet, I have absolutely no urge to look at porn now that I know how damaging it has been during the course of my life. Hopefully I can stay strong as I know things are probably going to get tougher as time goes on. I will post every few days and any support would be appreciated. I can't tell you how excited I am to break this habit and finally have a REAL sexual experience with someone I care about. I can honestly say I have never had good sex during my entire life and porn is the reason.

Welcome

Thanks for sharing your story. Glad you have a goddess inspiring you. That can help a lot.

I understand your unwillingness to discuss this with your sweetheart, but if it becomes necessary, don't sweat it. I may actually deepen your relationship. Here's an FAQ on it on YBOP: http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-do-i-tell-my-new-girlfriend

Good luck with your reboot. I've enabled you to blog if you want to keep your posts in one place (not required).

Day 18 complete!

Thanks for taking the time to respond. So I have been very busy the last couple weeks so haven't been able to post since day 3. All is going well so far...have had some mild cravings but nothing I couldn't resist, its actually been easier than I thought it would be...it helps that I am super motivated by my new lady. One question, on day 15 we attempted to have sex (with a condom which I have never been able to do). It was great for the first 5 - 10 minutes (by far the best sex I've ever had with a condom and was able to maintain a decent erection), however we switched positions and she got on top and I quickly lost my erection and was never able to get it back. I've read that guys can lose their erections with a girl on top because of gravity or is this simply my porn addiction rearing its ugly head? It was frustrating but I am definitely making progress. Also, I am not experiencing any of the withdrawal symptoms that other people experience when going through a reboot. Does this mean my addiction is more mild and thus I may recover sooner? I hope I am not hurting my recovery by still attempting to have sex with my girlfriend...

Variety of experiences

You will hear a variety of experiences from people who have rebooted. My opinion is the issue has nothing to do with the girl on top and everything to do with your history of porn.

Do not get caught thinking the recovery is easy, it isn't and it will bite you if you let your guard down. I'm not a big fan of sex that early (especially to orgasm) due to the chaser effect. Once you O you desire more and will potentially go back to the porn. I struggled with that many months ago. Instead slowing down, holding each other, cuddling, etc seems to help the reboot.

You have some rewiring to do to get your brain off the porn. I kind of think of it like healing from an injury. It just takes time and patience.

I'm glad you're doing well

A sweetheart is great medicine for recovery. Smile Just expect your body to be a bit uncooperative for a while. It takes a while to get brain and body wired up to normal libido again.

Affectionate contact is great. Minimize climax for the reasons explained by wfk. If you need ideas of things to do that won't overheat you as much as intercourse, check out this link: http://www.reuniting.info/resources/exchange_of_the_day

Keep us posted when you can!