Playful, nonorgasmic dreams

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Submitted by hotspring on
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I'm on my period and haven't been getting it on. But I HAVE noticed that since I started meditating more regularly about a month ago and have become more able to watch rather than act on my compulsions (for orgasm, affection from sexy men, etc), the sexual nature of my dreams has changed a lot.

Before, I used to have sexual dreams that were either incomplete (ie, another situation began to unfold and the sex was interrupted), resulted in orgasm, or was orgasm focused. Recently, though, my sexual interactions in the dream world have been much more playful, with no goal at all of orgasm (There's one exception to this: I dreamt that a good friend and former lover of mine touched my nipple and I had an immediate orgasm, which has never happened in waking life). Maybe this is why I feel really solid about remaining single - I'm getting lots of play and affection with a variety of interesting men in my dreams!

Dreams:

I am cuddling and kissing and playing naked with Adam, but we aren't having sex. He comes at some pont just from the frolicking and is embarrased.

I'm swimming in a pool with many people. I grab onto keil with a playful hug and he smiles and reaches down and strokes me.

I am in a vast city landscape where many young people are partying. I see my ex there. He seems more grown up. We are cuddling and I am holding him with real affection, like a dear friend. there is a very orgasmic sexual charge between us but there is no goal of sex. Though my body is turned on, I know sex is no longer appropriate.

Later in the dream I am trying to find a private place to masturbate. I am kneeling upright and ejaculating in ecstacy, but do not come, intentionally. I see my roommate and tell her excitedly that I suceeded in not coming. An intense ecstatic charge remains deep inside me.

The visual meditations of my body's energy I have been doing while masturbating seem to be having a correlate in the dreamworld too:

I see a reddish-orange light coming off my body. it grows and I cannot believe this is my own energy! I watch as it emmanates stronger and stronger, the color becoming more intense and saturated.

I have a half-lucid dream that I am looking down on my body lying on the bed and it is speaking to me through light waves, giving off an immense intelligence. I feel surprised that I had never been told about this intelligence before, and very excited that my body wants so urgently to communicate with me. The feeling is an energetic brightness, like the physical sensation of an epipheny.