Day 55 of no PMO Mid-life crisis? In need of an orgasm to lighten up my mood?

Submitted by Confinement84 on
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Day 55! Don't be fooled by the exclamation mark in the opening sentence, I'm not as excited as it sounds. I often wonder recently if an orgasm (NO Porn of course) would lighten up my mood a little, put a smile on my face. I catch myself with a serious look on my face when I'm walking through a grociery store or at the mall... and I think how others might percieve my frown. All this testosterone is putting me into a serious mood?It sounds stupid but I really need to turn this frown upside down!!! I need something to be happy about. A woman perhaps? I see woman at college so excited and happy even though their single. I wish I could reach that sense of...being totally ok with my situation, that level of happyness,fullfilled without the craving for a partner. I want to approach some woman i catch looking at me but I feel so...anxious...no confidence in my social skills at all. I was hoping the absense of PMO would help. I would have expected a wet dream by now. Actually about a week ago I had a very vivid sexual dream and when I was near orgasm somebody rang the doorbell which woke me up. Damn them!

Aside from that... I mentioned a few weeks ago I started College. My family and friends are shocked that I started attending school. Anybody who is close to me knows its very unlike me to go to school(the old PMO,stoner addicted me anyways). I get anxious heading to class seeing as how I have been out of high school for 8 years. I originally signed up for 1 class and was on a waiting list for a 2nd. The waiting list was just a back up plan .I really did not intend on going to 2 classes my 1st time back in 8 years... But.... Something inside me told me to GO FOR IT! Now I'm neck deep in 2 classes and I just signed up for a 3rd Class that starts mid-semester. What has gotten into me? I feel like I have to constantly be busy with my fulltime job, school , excercising or studing otherwise I begin to dwell on how lonely I am and how happy my friends and family are with their partners. And that brings me to my next point.

I feel like I'm going through a mid life crisis. My hair style? Lame. The way I dress? Childish. My truck? Old. My job? Not good enough. My voice? Annoying. The thoughts in my head? I can't express clearly unless im typing it out. My confidence with woman? Low. All these things I used to be OK with all of a sudden aren't good enough for me. Is it the lack of PMO? The lack of pot and cigs? The fact that I'm so lonely I have nothing to do but think about it all day? I dont know. Sure many good things but emotionally I still feel like I'm a wreck. I wish I could be ok with being single... which would probably allow me to open up and find a special someone. I need to get rid of this tension and just be happy. But I cant... Because for 10 years I relied on Drugs and Porn to give me a boost in my mood..... and I no longer have those things in my life.

Comments

Ride the Wave

Hey bro, we are riding the wave!

You are comparing a stagnant point of life with a new point- where you want to be.

for example, my old life is dead. In my experience I was a walking carcass, a zombied out loser.

Now that we see an awesome life at the horizon, there is a sort of tension that will catapult us to where we want to go. We woke up.

So now the universe is doing its job to get to where we need to go so that we can evolve and be happier.

Check this video out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yolpT66hnyE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

We are growing and becoming awesome people.

Just have faith!

Confinement,

Staying busy is good, but you've got to get some socializing in there. Nothing builds confidence like taking some chances. They won't all work out, but some will.

Are you smiling and making eye contact with those women? Do that for a bit. Then, outside of class, make an excuse walk near them and say, "Hi, I'm _______. You're in my ___class, right?" Or "Do you like [class]?" "What do you think of the professor?" "What degree are you getting?" "What do you like to do when you're not studying?"

It's time.

*big push*

You sound okay to me.

Confinement,
I'm sorry you feel so anxious. Honestly though, if you can step back and re-read your post, you'll see that you're in an okay spot, and you're making progress.
Yes, at this time you may not have a girlfriend, however, you're unsettled and that might actually be a good thing! You're not content anymore with your job, dress, lifestyle. That in-contentment is a catalyst for the change that's necessary and will help lead to you finding that which you seek, IE a girlfriend.
My advice would be keep up the no PMO, stay strong on the road you're on.
Good luck.

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." -Samuel Beckett

I suggest you

start learning to love what you have. just because your always around yourself, doesn't mean people on the outside are gonna feel the same way. I do affirmations and change my "story" which essentially all the negative things i think about my self reversed ex: "I don't think Im attractive." to "i am attractive and all woman would like to get with me." It works with me, and if you continue, it will result in being more comfortable with yourself. just my opinion