Today is Day 81, M and O on day 74 with no chaser effect.

Submitted by Confinement84 on
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Hello All!
Today is Day 81. It is a Friday Night and I am home alone as I currently type up this post. Pretty pathetic right? Boring for sure. 82 days ago I would probably be sitting on the couch looking at P. But not today, I'm actually doing something semi-productive. Worked an 8 hour shift, ran 3 miles at the gym, went for a swim, visited my grandma and my little cousin, washed my truck, did 4 loads of laundry, went for a 2nd run around the block, did grocery shopping, got a haircut and now I sit here adding to my Reuniting blog while doing some homework. Like I said before, Boring.

Very little has changed since my last post. I did however M and O without P (of course) about 6-7 days ago for the 1st and only time during this 81 day stint of soberness. To my surprise, I actually had little to no chaser effect. My initial thought as I was in the middle of an orgasm was " NOOOOOOOooooooooo whyyyyyyyy did i do that?". Then I remembered reading that the brains PMO neuropathways strengthen when the feeling is associated with guilt, so I immediately tried to calm myself down with an "oh well its not the end of the world" thought. Which then led to a " Well shoot, I fucked up so I may as well MO again and get it out of my system(hornyness)". I then proceeded to passout before giving myself that chance. I'd like to note the only reason I even let it go that far was because I was buzzed from a few beers. Anyways, 6-7 days pass and I notice little to no difference at all since the M O. My energy levels, anxiety lvls, confidence, morning erections all seem to be exactly the same if not better. Its a little premature to say but I guess a little masturbation is OK this far into my recovery as long as I don't look at porn, don't do it often, and don't let it escalate back into porn use. I would also like to add that I did fantasize a little bit, not to any porn-stars like I would have 82 days ago... but of woman from my school. Which is probably not a good thing, but I doubt it has the same stimulating effect, dopamine release that porn has on me.

With that being said, I do regret M and O'ing recently but it is time to look forward. Day 365 here I come!

-Peace out

Comments

Well done

Eventually you have to make friends with your sexuality again. Part of recovery is being able to trust your appetite mechanisms again, and to know that feelings of satisfaction after orgasm are possible (or at least that you won't have some evil chaser Smile )

I'm sure you're feeling more confident about your self-control as a result. Not like last time, eh? I think you should be very proud of what you've accomplished.

No chance of asking any of those fantasy goddesses to have a meal before class, is there?