Although I've declared counting number of days to be "unofficial", today is the 15th day of abstinence. I've got control over my actions -- I can refrain from masturbating/ejaculating -- but I don't have control over my thoughts. I currently have the self-control to not fantasize, but somehow if I notice a woman in a magazine or on the street, I somehow feel so attracted that traces of guilt and shame emerge. I look at the woman, trying to remove the attraction mechanism inside me. I think it's okay to just look at her and acknowledge she is beautiful, but getting turned on will only get me back into my addictive cycle. What I want to stop is the emotional reaction that is stirred up inside my body -- suddenly the sexual system becomes active (when I'm concentrating on other things, like academics, the sexual system seemingly disappears into oblivion). I just want to be able to acknowledge that that woman is beautiful (as in when you recognize symmetry), *not* have any emotional reaction like getting turned on. I hate myself when I get turned on, feel like beating myself up (physically). Why can't I control my own self? It almost seems like my sexual system is independent of my will, but affecting me in so many negative ways. I just don't seem to be able to calm this system down and cut the link between attractive women and sexual triggers. WHAT IS THE RIGHT APPROACH TO OVERCOMING ADDICTION?