87 Days? Make it 365.. it's all the same from here on.

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Submitted by neededhelp on
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Ah, I can't believe I'm finally doing this, something I've been wanting to do for a long time. I don't know where to start. My journey here wasn't an easy one, but it sure wasn't expected. :)

It all started 6-7 months ago,(has it really been that long?)when I noticed something about me. In middle school I used to be very out going, I treated everyone the same and for this reason very I was wanted among girls in our school. My friends told me I was charismatic and asked me what was my secret. :) Even in high school when I had problems from masturbation and porn, girls still gave me the look. But up until high school it was all about school, so I never let anybody get in the way of that. I never let anyone close.

Suddenly I noticed losing friends and only having couple of close friends. Even having trouble to connect with new people, having anxiety to approach and interact with good looking girls. Getting to be girls' "friend", if you know what I mean. My grades started to drop and my concentration and memory got weaker. I felt tired most of the day even If I hadn't done anything.

Then I started putting the puzzle together, seeing the big picture and staring at it mesmerized, with my jaw open. There is was, my whole life on an internet page explaining the symptoms of frequent masturbation and the side effect of excessive pornographic content. I was shocked, angry and disappointed - to put it mildly. How can something that feels so good have such bad side effect? Have they done their research properly? That's what I asked myself. Man, looking back now, let's just say I didn't have a clue about what I was asking myself. :)

It had gotten to the point were I was doing it at least twice a day and it was always to pornographic content, were as when I was younger it was all about using your imagination. Then the frequency was way less too, even though I have always had a high sex drive. I did it before going out because people said you don't want to walk all loaded and horny, that makes you needy and girls don't like that. Well, at the time it made sense...

After noticing my problem, I started looking for answers. Researching Google with lines like: "refraining from masturbation, more testosterone when not masturbating, problems from masturbation, masturbation and porn" and so on. I studied all I could, from real studies to personal experiments. Many times doctors claimed that masturbation is healthy and it reduces the chance of developing prostate cancer.

On forums people challenging others to refrain from masturbation for some time. People always made it a joke:" I would have 24/7 boners, I wouldn't be able sleep, I would have wet dreams every night"... and I started seeing myself in those words. I'm really this bad? Making excuses to get myself off? :?

Well I started my own challenge, a week, for a starter I though to myself.. The first days were hell, I'm not gonna lie. It was straight from my worst nightmares. But suddenly I noticed changes in my mood and my self confidence. I started talking more, telling more jokes and being comfortable in my own skin. Then it all ended, like waking up. Little did I know I had woken up few hours too early. :)

The road for my recovery was starting to emerge, next time I made it two weeks, but every time my streak ended, the mental pain was way worse. Then I told myself:" 31 days, that's a full month, if you can go that long, it shows that your not addicted to porn and you're master of your domain."

The charismatic me was back, full of energy and horny as hell, not the "boner 24/7" horny, but the "I'm ready to rule the world" horny. I worked out harder, studied better, got my confidence back and lost every doubt I had in me. Everything was fine up until my scheduled day. 31 days were up.. so now what? :? Well I betrayed myself for the next couple of days. But now that see it, I needed those days to make my full recovery. After 4 days I started from 0, but it felt like I was starting from infinity. Wink

This time the days didn't matter. It was days 40 or so that I got up from my desk and felt unbelievable power, the amount of testosterone running threw my veins, the control I had now possessed over my body.

Couple of days ago I watched porn after 10 weeks of nothing, not a single picture. I'll quote from my other comment:"-- what I meant was not to mourn. It was more like meeting an old friend, but you notice that you have grown apart from each other and don't enjoy each others company anymore. Therefore not wanting to meet again. I saw what I saw after 10 weeks and wasn't interested."

Where I'm Now:

Like it says, 87 days. Confidence on a whole new level. It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like. I can look you in the eyes and listen to what you have to say. I feel more comfortable around a flock of girls rather than boys. I'm going to the gym constantly, putting on some size and strength. The best part is, I don't feel the need to have someone in my life. I'm enjoying it as much as I can and it seems to drive the girls crazy. Wink

Advice:

Quoting again from my another response:"How to let go of you harem? Just take your computer, and look at the screen from one side. What do you see? A side of a screen.. there is nothing there, nothing behind it. That is as close as you'll get to those women on the screen.. when you realize this, and I mean really understand what I mean, you will pop out of that set of mind."

You first have to realize the problem, then confront it, not the other way around. Taking your time and accepting failure makes all the difference in the world. Don't cling onto the days, but rather on the feeling and emotions. Enjoy every day and keep this in mind: In the future, do you wish that you had done something about it or are you glad that you did? Wink

I'm sorry it's so long and has typos, wrote it 2 a.m. :) but feel free to ask me anything on the subject and I'll do my best to try to help my bretherin out.

Comments

you are amazing

Wow, way to go. I am at day 19 no PM have had a couple of O's with my wife and they were special, compared to the old me.

Very inspiring to hear your story

Thanks

Thank you

for your kind words, for me every story that says no PM is a good one. Hope to see you keep the spirit up and never look back :)

Thanks for blogging, NH

I can see I'm going to be writing up another rebooting account soon. Wink You're a good scientist, and I admire your willingness to conduct your own experiments. Anyone interested in the masturbate-to-prevent-prostate cancer argument may want to read this: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201007/ejacula...

@fcj8 Glad to hear that sex is becoming more enjoyable. It's amazing that our experts have no clue about the importance of maintaining reward circuit sensitivity for good sex. They seem to think pleasure is only measured in number of orgasms, however unsatisfied someone feels afterward. [skepti]

No problem :)

I'm 20. I started with porn when I started to use the computer more, so probably around 14-15. No I'm not gonna have a masturbation plan. I don't feel like I need to masturbate, even when I'm horny or under stress. The mental pain is too much to bare and I know my body can take care of itself. Wink Having to time it puts pressure on it, and that is one of the reasons I failed on my 31 day plan. :)

Nice!

Don't worry about your destination, remember to enjoy the trip as well. Life if too short, so having to put pressure on yourself to get somewhere just makes it that much worse. :)

Great post!

You gave many great insights and one, among others you mentioned, that I've thought about before was:

[quote=neededhelp]
Quoting again from my another response:"How to let go of you harem? Just take your computer, and look at the screen from one side. What do you see? A side of a screen.. there is nothing there, nothing behind it. That is as close as you'll get to those women on the screen.. when you realize this, and I mean really understand what I mean, you will pop out of that set of mind."
[/quote]

"Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do." - Bruce Lee
This quote is what it's all about!

Thanks!

The thing is, I have very much personal experience and I have looked for information for a very long time, from lot of different aspects. I still look them up, and I the first time I stumbled on to this site was 6-7 months ago, but waited too long to make an account. But I did my studying alone and NOW I'm here to help others. :) It's all about the mindset. We usually just apply them to animals, but it applies to people too. You need to be in the right mindset to get from point A to point B. That's all it takes. :)

So it was your mindset that

So it was your mindset that allowed you to overcome the cravings everytime they would appear? Beating cravings and chasers even more is something I find really difficult. I've made it to about a month a few times but can't break through that number..

It's OK

By mindset I meant you really must picture your success and don't let anything come between you and that picture. You must really want something to go after it. And I mean really want it. For example if you work out 3 months, then let 3 months go, you would start from zero. You have to be consistent and keep going even when you feel down. How do you feel after a month? Great I suppose, having more energy and confidence. What about when you give up? You feel awful and disappointed in yourself, at least that's how I felt. :(

Remember that feeling, remember it like your life depends on it. Don't beat yourself up, that's not what I'm saying here. Just remember that and when you feel like giving up, bring those memories up. It didn't feel good then, and the time after that, why should it now? And that's when you brake yourself from those chains. Like I said, I let myself go for one more time after 31 days, and that feeling stuck with me. That's why I said it helped me toward where I'm now. Take two steps forward for every step you take back. Wink

And don't take the number of days too seriously. Don't just set I solid hard goal for yourself, because when you achieve it, your time's up. Take it more like a new lifestyle. :)