Submitted by justthisguy on
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I am a new member and I have come here to explore the concepts of karezza.

I will give a short history. I am a man in my middle forties. I was married to a narcissist for 19 years.
During the marriage, the only sex that I experienced was the cold and mechanical sort.
After being divorced, I took some time to develop a relationship with a woman out of the country. I spent several months earlier this year experiencing conventional sex that I can only describe as phenomenal. I am back in my own country now, but without my lover.

The above is a synopsis. Of course there are a plethora of details left out such as why a man would stay in a horrible marriage for so long, or I could tell you what I think good or bad conventional sex is, or I could say why I returned without the woman that I found out of country. But, I am just hoping that I can get a few well considered answers.

Assume that a narcissist is somewhere on the range of psychopathy, and that as a psychopath, this person is unable to form a true bond with another human being. It is also known that a psychopath can mimic many human emotions, and do so without conscience.

I have not attempted karezza, but from what I have read, there is an amazing bond that occurs.
The question I would like to start with is this:
Can karezza be faked by a psychopath?

I am guessing that this will be one of the more difficult questions that will be fielded on this forum.

I wonder if anyone here

really knows enough about narcissism to be able to answer this. I don't.

I do strongly feel that bonding behaviors can generally only help both partners...even if they decide to part later. The reason is because they are nurturing and soothing to the nervous system. And the safer and less defensive people feel, the better their behavior.

If you're thinking of trying them with your wife, I'd say, "Go for it." But then, I've seen them work wonders with other pathologies...such as addiction. I've even seen them tame shrews (myself included Wink ).

Start a blog if you like. And good luck with your adventure.

I haven't actually done

I haven't actually done karezza, but I'm almost certain you would know the difference at least between karezza with someone who isn't projecting love toward you during the process and someone who is. There's an energy transfer involved. Actually all sex involves it, but karezza / taoist / tantric lovemaking way more.

My last relationship (about 4 years ago) was with a narcissistic, very crazy woman. To this day I can't figure out the logic that kept me with her. But, in fairness, even my friends, who kept telling me I deserve someone better, and I am a great guy and all that, shouldn't put up with it, even they fell for her fake emotions. She could make anyone feel sorry for her. I left that relationship feeling very hollow and empty, in a way I'd never experienced before..... After sex with her, now I think of it, there was never an afterglow like with other women....Anyone believe in energy vampires? Well they can suck you dry even better in a sexual relationship.

So, yeah, if you can get her to do karezza, with projecting true affection, it may be healing for both of you. I think most energy vampires are that way bc they have been sucked dry themselvelves at some point, creating a spiritual vacuum, whether by their own actions, or the actions of others. Caution, my friend.

Also, what you say about psychopaths, I guess there is supposedly condition genetically in like 1% of the population where they have no remorse, no conscience, but most of these people never commit violent crimes or anything that would send them to jail. But they do find ways to do terrible things to people around them that, if you repeat the tale, no one will think it sounds bad, but if they could see it in context, in person, and how alot of small things add to one big thing over time, not just one occurence retold, they're like , "Whoa, wait a minute, wtf!"