Day 111 - Successful sex. It works!!

Submitted by intriqued on
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So I'm a very happy man today. The reboot worked. After 2 months of being apart I reunited with my lady last night. Part of me was unsure of how things would go. Would we still get on like we did before we both went off travelling? Would there still be an attraction? But when we saw one another it was obvious. Big smiles on both of our faces. I walked up and without saying a word we had a long passionate kiss. It felt great to have her in my arms. As if no time had passed. As comfortable as ever. Like we have known each other for years.

Back at her place everything just flowed. I'd been feeling great recently, a strong consistent sexual drive, huge lingering morning erections. I kind of knew things would work but there was still a small element doubt in my mind. Everything did work. We were up all night having sex. When we were last together (day 1 - 49) we would normally play in the mornings because my sex drive just wasn't there at night. Now despite drinking a lot at a party I was an animal all night long.

Every time I got hard easily and held a strong erection all the way through intercourse. We kept saying we really need to get some sleep then one of us would initiate and we'd go again. We drifted off to sleep in each other's arms around 3am but I awoke an hour later to find us having sex again. That was weird. I starting having sex with her in my sleep! She said she awoke to a wonderful surprise. She told me she would return the favour in the morning.

This morning I awoke to her giving me a blow job. We had sex again. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. I left early in the morning as she had work to do and said there was no way she could leave the bed if I was there. I got up to get dressed and still had an erection.

My favourite part of the night was this cute look she gave me after we had sex the first time. Such happiness that we were finally here and I was fixed. I felt so connected and attracted to her in that moment. Something beyond just sexual attraction and energy. I don't like the word spiritual but that's perhaps the best way of describing it.

Going through the first part of the reboot with her was tough at times. She was great, so understanding and patient. She never put any pressure on me. She never showed any signs of frustration. But I knew it was a hard on her. I got annoyed and frustrated at times when I thought the reboot would of worked it's magic but I was still having ED problems. She told me it was just a matter of time. We would have sex eventually. Whether that was today, tomorrow, or next month she didn't mind. But I had thoughts that if it didn't work soon she wouldn't stick around.

I think the way she just accepted my problem was amazing. She didn't run. She didn't judge. I saw that she would be there at the bad times as well as the good ones. Perhaps you could go years in a relationship without seeing that trait in action. Having a shared problem, especially one so fundamental to a romantic relationship, brought us so close. In a way it put typical relationship problems into perspective.

However there is still one issue. I didn't ejaculate. We had sex countless times, every time I had a help a rock hard erection but never ejaculated. We went for hours and hours. She had orgasm after orgasm. She just moved in with her new house mates and was embarrassed about her night long screams of joy! I completely wore her out. So from a performance perspective that was great but I'm not sure why I didn't orgasm. I was ridiculous turned on, panting hard, but never felt that sensation of being close to orgasm. I thought after having no sexual release for so long the opposite would happen and I would ejaculate as soon I entered her.

In a way it was great that I could go on and on. After loosing a lot of sexual confidence during my prior ED riddled relationship it was amazing to be fully in control. To be completely comfortable, confident, worry free, dominant. I'd drunk a lot yesterday so maybe that had an effect. But this morning was the same. Blow job and sex (long) but no finish. Any ideas? Is this something that other rebooters have found? Any suggestions?

As for the future I'm not entirely sure on my plan. I'd love to masturbate right now. To have a conscious orgasm i.e. non wet dream. I don't know what my future masturbation habit / schedule should be. There's a part of me that thinks perhaps I don't need masturbation. I should just get my pleasure from sex. Another part thinks maybe it's fine if I play softly without fantasy. I'm just aware that I don't want to slip. Any thoughts?

Comments

I"m speechless. Congrats

I"m speechless. Congrats man. Please keep us updated with what happens the next time you have sex, etc. As for the future, I would just forget masturbation. With results like that, I wouldn't take any chances with MO. Nothing like being able to have real sex again. Cheers.

That's a great story to read

That's a great story to read :) We need more of those on the forum Wink

Don't worry about the no-ejaculation. I guess the whole experience may have been somewhat overwhelming which may affected your state of mind. I would say it's just a matter of time and 'retraining'. If you can, definitely skip the masturbation and save all your sexual energy for her.

It is said that the way you breathe can influence your ability to reach orgasm. So try this out the next time you want to orgasm: make your breaths shorter and more shallow. If you do that well, you may feel the orgasmic tension increasing. Holding your breath is also a technique to increase the orgasmic tension. Similar, deep slow breaths will lower this tension.

Congrats!

I agree with the guys above in that I say for the time being skip the masturbation. Focus your sexual energy on her. I've suffered from DE (Delayed Ejaculation) with women as well. I just think that the more your body and mind tune to them only, the better the "wiring" will be, and orgasm will come with time (pun-ny). Congrats again!

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." -Samuel Beckett

*big smile*

Relax. Your penis is likely to get more sensitive as you continue to have regular sex. We've heard from other rebooters that they continue to notice improvements for weeks once they're back in the saddle.

No need to force an orgasm. Just let your body and brain work it out. They will. For now, just enjoy being a Daoist master.

Sounds like a wonderful relationship. I'm really happy for you. [tanz]

PS

Remember to take it easy. Relaxation, not Superman performance, may be the best way to increased sexual responsiveness.

I feel indebted to you Marnia

I can't thank you and Gary enough for starting and running your amazing websites. Before finding YBOP and deciding to reboot I was confused and pretty miserable. I was in a relationship which fell apart because of ED. I didn't know the cause and was struggling to see how I was going to solve the problem. I had no idea that porn could lead to libido loss or erectile dysfunction. I also didn't really consider my porn use as an addiction. I associated addiction with an activity or substance that has obvious negative effects; think drinking, smoking, drugs. Without the information and resources I'm really not sure where I would be right now.

Actually that's interesting one to think about. I probably would of gone on suffering ED issues and my sexual confidence would of got lower and lower with every attempt. Perhaps I would of stopped approaching woman and gone back to a solo life of PMO as my sexual outlet. Thanks to you guys I'm fixed and enjoying the real thing. On top of that I'm feeling pretty inspired at the moment; something that is flowing into other areas of my life.

You mentioned doing a write up of my reboot. I think that would be great. Give me a shout if you want me to help or provide any additional information. For example I haven't really written about my PM habits, the escalation, reasons etc which I'd be happy to. I also work professionally as a web developer and would be happy to donate some time if you need a hand with your websites. Any way I can help to get the message out about the evils of porn and the powers of rebooting.

Thanks for your

generosity of spirit. Believe me, learning all this was a surprise to us, too, and it came from guys like you who were bold enough to experiment. I'm glad you're feeling good about your progress. You're such a great guy (something I think about most everyone here, as you know) that it would be a shame if you were spinning your wheels thinking you were defective. Your lady would be a lot less happy too.

Some of your history would be very useful...as long or as short as you please. It adds a lot to these rebooting stories because everyone seems to assume his porn use is "the worst." Wink Reading someone else's story puts things in perspective.

I'll PM you with the list of changes we intend to make to this site. You can add your thoughts or ideas on feasibility. They are based on the contributions of many here. The Drupal guy who's helping us is just doing some final tweaks of YBOP, and then we hope he'll have time to start on this site. Everything goes slower than envisioned, however. Smile

Any other web geniuses are invited to PM me for the list too.