So I'm a very happy man today. The reboot worked. After 2 months of being apart I reunited with my lady last night. Part of me was unsure of how things would go. Would we still get on like we did before we both went off travelling? Would there still be an attraction? But when we saw one another it was obvious. Big smiles on both of our faces. I walked up and without saying a word we had a long passionate kiss. It felt great to have her in my arms. As if no time had passed. As comfortable as ever. Like we have known each other for years.
Back at her place everything just flowed. I'd been feeling great recently, a strong consistent sexual drive, huge lingering morning erections. I kind of knew things would work but there was still a small element doubt in my mind. Everything did work. We were up all night having sex. When we were last together (day 1 - 49) we would normally play in the mornings because my sex drive just wasn't there at night. Now despite drinking a lot at a party I was an animal all night long.
Every time I got hard easily and held a strong erection all the way through intercourse. We kept saying we really need to get some sleep then one of us would initiate and we'd go again. We drifted off to sleep in each other's arms around 3am but I awoke an hour later to find us having sex again. That was weird. I starting having sex with her in my sleep! She said she awoke to a wonderful surprise. She told me she would return the favour in the morning.
This morning I awoke to her giving me a blow job. We had sex again. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. I left early in the morning as she had work to do and said there was no way she could leave the bed if I was there. I got up to get dressed and still had an erection.
My favourite part of the night was this cute look she gave me after we had sex the first time. Such happiness that we were finally here and I was fixed. I felt so connected and attracted to her in that moment. Something beyond just sexual attraction and energy. I don't like the word spiritual but that's perhaps the best way of describing it.
Going through the first part of the reboot with her was tough at times. She was great, so understanding and patient. She never put any pressure on me. She never showed any signs of frustration. But I knew it was a hard on her. I got annoyed and frustrated at times when I thought the reboot would of worked it's magic but I was still having ED problems. She told me it was just a matter of time. We would have sex eventually. Whether that was today, tomorrow, or next month she didn't mind. But I had thoughts that if it didn't work soon she wouldn't stick around.
I think the way she just accepted my problem was amazing. She didn't run. She didn't judge. I saw that she would be there at the bad times as well as the good ones. Perhaps you could go years in a relationship without seeing that trait in action. Having a shared problem, especially one so fundamental to a romantic relationship, brought us so close. In a way it put typical relationship problems into perspective.
However there is still one issue. I didn't ejaculate. We had sex countless times, every time I had a help a rock hard erection but never ejaculated. We went for hours and hours. She had orgasm after orgasm. She just moved in with her new house mates and was embarrassed about her night long screams of joy! I completely wore her out. So from a performance perspective that was great but I'm not sure why I didn't orgasm. I was ridiculous turned on, panting hard, but never felt that sensation of being close to orgasm. I thought after having no sexual release for so long the opposite would happen and I would ejaculate as soon I entered her.
In a way it was great that I could go on and on. After loosing a lot of sexual confidence during my prior ED riddled relationship it was amazing to be fully in control. To be completely comfortable, confident, worry free, dominant. I'd drunk a lot yesterday so maybe that had an effect. But this morning was the same. Blow job and sex (long) but no finish. Any ideas? Is this something that other rebooters have found? Any suggestions?
As for the future I'm not entirely sure on my plan. I'd love to masturbate right now. To have a conscious orgasm i.e. non wet dream. I don't know what my future masturbation habit / schedule should be. There's a part of me that thinks perhaps I don't need masturbation. I should just get my pleasure from sex. Another part thinks maybe it's fine if I play softly without fantasy. I'm just aware that I don't want to slip. Any thoughts?