my own questions - hormones and MB/porn

Submitted by DT761128 on
Printer-friendly version

Hi.. .my own issue is very complicated. I have low testosterone, but I also have erectile problems, and i'm in my mid 30's. I also recently been diagnosed with Asperger's and I've had secondary adjustment disorder (depression) related to that for over a year, the most severe depression in my life. In the past I have been an intermittent heavy porn user, mostly softcore pornography (naked pictures, no sex), all heterosexual porn (it never really crossed my mind I was gay or bisexual, though I had "dirty" fantasies a few times that I enjoyed).

About 1 1/2 years ago, my erections were fine. I didn't masturbate that much, if at all, due to religious beliefs against it and I was very spiritual and trying to follow the Orthodox church's teachings. Then I developed prostatitis and a bad urinary tract infection, went to a urologist and got treated... eventually. I tried masturbation and it helped with some of the symptoms but the infection had taken hold so much that I had developed some inflammation in my scrotum and inguinal lymph node.

I kept masturbating, sometimes 3-4 times a day... I was really getting into it. I didn't feel addicted to porn so much, though I did engage in some "cybering". The masturbation looking back was totally excessive. Anyways, eventuallly, i started noticing my erections dwindling. This started freaking me out, and I became very scared and shocked, because I'm basicly a virgin (I was diagnosed with Asperger's a few months after my bad urinary tract infection), so I didn't know what this meant for my future sex life, if I ever had any. I also left the religious group I was with, as I started coming out to myself as being bisexual and not wanting to be part of a church that was homophobic (some of my sexual fantasies were of being a bottom, being penetrated, etc... so the ability to not become erect wasn't quite as much a factor)

I currently have been told by my GP I should take testosterone or HCG injections to deal with hypogonadism, low testosterone. I am debating wheather I should do this, whether its not simply caused by a depression I've had this past year dealing with disability, erectile scares, and so on. I go to a TCM (Chinese) doctor and she does acupuncture on me and perscribes or recommends herbs to take. Her advice was that excessive masturbation caused Kidney Qi and Yin deficiency, and that it would take months to resolve. She advised only masturbating a few times a week.

Currently, I can get a semi-hard erection enough to penetrate a Fleshlight sex toy that's fairly tight (just barely hard enough though, 6-7 out of 10 compared to a ten out of ten a year ago). But I don't get morning erections really, though I do notice during sleep I feel like i'm getting half erect. Acupuncture seemed to improve my erections only a little bit, but it's been about a month- most of the treatment is focused on improving my mood and that has helped some. I have mostly succeded in not having orgasms more than 2-3 times a week, but I still find myself doing some cybering, even though I'm starting to realize its unhealthy (I don't feel addicted to it sexually, to me its more like an emotional connection thing, albeit misguided). I mostly cam with male friends, one of them I have a crush on and would love to be with in RL, but he's also got Asperger's also, and not out with his mom, whom he partly depends on for his housing (and he lives 1000 miles away). I still have some prostate pain especially when sitting around alot, too. Masturbating has variable effects - it brings some immediate relief but then later things just feel tender faster (I have also been trying to use an aneros stimulator but its difficult and time consuming to do, so only get a few sessions a week).

Oh, and I'd like to add I

Oh, and I'd like to add I partly blame the Orthodox Church for my issues. Their teaching on sexuality is totally unrealistic and lead to me having a bout of excessive wanking after I just let go of it all. I didn't learn how to moderate my impulses at all, instead I had repressed my sexuality (including my bisexuality). I couldn't honestly talk about my issues with my priest 'cause pretty much everything I was dealing with was "sin", the need to masturbate or engage in prostate massage somewhat to deal with clogged prostates (I wasn't having wet dreams to empty it), the same sex attractions, the desire to have physical intimacy at all and yet being disabled and single. Lately I've been studying Taoism, Chinese medicine and qi gong, and I find the attitude to sexuality to be much more realistic, less moralistic. I practice Buddhism (Pure Land Buddhism, I am a member of an online group), but if I knew more about religious Taoism i might be tempted to convert to that (I'm not sure what I am, just a general believer in eastern religions, sort of like alot of Chinese people, though I myself am Caucasian, increasingly I feel at home in Asian culture).

Hi

Thanks for sharing your story. Doesn't sound like you're interested in rebooting. What can we do for you?

I wanted to know if anybody

I wanted to know if anybody else has experienced hormone problems related to sexual addictions of various kinds? In Traditional Chinese Medicine theory, this seems to be the case theoretically, but I was curious to know if anybody has any actual experience of this. My testosterone is about 200 ng/dL last time it was checked, a normal level is above 300, and usually 500+. Lutenizing hormone levels are in the normal range.

Hmmm...

Most guys who have their hormone levels checked are perfectly normal, so it's clear their problems are coming from elsewhere...and apparently from other physiological changes related to their addictions...because the symptoms tend to recede if they give up porn, porn fantasy, (and for a time) masturbation and orgasm as much as possible.

In case it's of interest, here's a rebooting account of a guy who actually did have low T when he arrived: http://yourbrainonporn.com/age-20-low-testosterone-periodic-masturbation

We have no doubt that addiction can cause ripples in all kinds of neurochemicals, but T levels seem to be very indirectly affected, and not in most of the addicts who show up here.

I have another question. How do you know you're bisexual? We've been listening to a lot of guys whose porn tastes are plastic but who are clear that those tastes don't reflect their underlying orientation. (See http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201110/can-you...) In contrast to them, you seem clear about your orientation. Can you share how you know that? It could be helpful to guys here who wrestle with doubts that are purely a product of porn use escalation.