"Ok, Cupid!" (said in scolding tone)

Submitted by etgalore on
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Recently I decided to "get out there" and so I put up a profile on a popular dating site whose URL perhaps you can guess. And because I have a decent sense of humor, good punctuation and editing, and can appear sane when necessary, I'm finding it fairly easy to set up dates. I have gone on five dates in the past two or three weeks. Four new people, and went out twice with one. (I could do more, but I'm also in grad school, and should study once in a while.)

I like one of the ladies but find I am so out of practice that I'm pretty sure I was supposed to kiss her goodnight but didn't have the nerve.

The weird thing is I can't imagine getting it on with any of these woman. Almost not at all. During the dates I would say there is maybe a twenty second period which comes on without warning and during which I sort of relax and listen to them talking and realize that I am feeling just ever-so-slightly hungry for them, but then it goes away. It's a different feeling and nothing like the fantasies that frapped my mind for the past twenty years.

I am "older'--mid thirties--and I do worry that perhaps the decline is something unavoidable. Part of the cycles of life. I've been toying with the idea of working out to increase testosterone a little, but I don't know.

And I guess it's natural to be kind of scared. The ED thing hit me when I was with someone I really loved and at the time I had no idea why it was happening. Went to a urologist and all. Anyway, the woman I was with was the opposite of supportive. Screamed at me, insulted me about it often, broke things in anger. It was really bad.

I guess I feel a little lost now. Not sure what I'm doing this for.

Not the right goddesses

Keep digging. Meanwhile, do a bit of inner housework.

Sounds like your ex was very fragile indeed if she reacted that way. Perhaps she had had a bad experience in the past herself that had hurt her sexual self-esteem.

Your job now is to visualize what you feel like after a successful sexual outcome. Every time those doubts come up, you add to your visualization instead of dwelling on the distress. Even journal the description and keep adding to it. "She says...." "I feel like..."

Get to work. We all want to see what you come up with. [bigsmile]