XXX

Submitted by writingrevolution on
Printer-friendly version

Comments

Hi -writingrevolution- I

Hi -writingrevolution-

I have not "met" you previously as I have been here since October. I wish you much strength and power. You are obviously a very courageous person to even be attempting this battle.

This site is such an amazing place and has had so much to do with my success in kicking a decades old PM habit. Sorry, you were here before so you probably know this already.

I read your post and sounds like you have good strategies and a plan. Your stated motivation in your first paragraph is very strong and clear. Excellent.

I look forward to "talking" and reading your progress.

You can do this you are young and have so much strength.
fcjl8

"True Self" very good, that

"True Self" very good, that is how I feel. I felt 2 sides to my being my true self, and all my true values and then the other self, addicted to a terrible, shameful habit.

"It" seems to be a growing topic in the States, I am in Canada, but the U.S. media and news dominates our country. The last couple of years I am seeing more and more, but very slowly.

I am amazed everytime I see a man stand up , without anonymity, and tell his story of porn addiction. i used to think how could someone have so much courage to disclose that which I keep as my darkest secret. Well, now I have told many friends and a few people that are helping a bit. My doctor, my Pastor, some family, and my wife was the first one I told. Speaking about it has helped me to get past it, bringing it out of the shadows has reduced the power "my secret" had. I would be willing, as my success continues, to put my self "out there" and tell my story , I would do it to help show others this is do-able and everyone with this habit can win. No one has shamed or ridiculed me, in fact the opposite has happened.

Sorry, started to ramble... I am going to put that on my blog today as well.

Be well

Welcome back

Sounds like a very healthy plan on lots of levels. Good luck with it.

I like your description of a porn addiction:

this inability to find what you're looking for in life, because you're in some ways numbed

Succinct, but accurate. Why didn't I think of that??

Keep us posted.

all the best

to you writingrevolution,

I wish I had had the courage to do what you're going to do now at your age. It sounds very rigourous, but i do think that is the best (only?) way to stop the addiction... cut everything which can lead you to it. And the other things you mention, like stopping smoking, doing exercises, foodstuffs, all put your mind off the stopping the addiction, and make you more healthy as well!

I'm curious how you'll fare, and i'll try to read your progress.

Good luck!

Hi Writing Revolution

I read your stuff from a while back and then these posts. It looks like you have "got of your ass" this time for sure - well done! The power to control this lies within us.
I used to worry about what I ate and it was all about abstinence. However I started to realise that you are not really in control if you live life like that. You are in control if you can have a little of what you like and stop. (I have realised that I can't do this with M and Webcam Sex sites though) You're right about the balance!

I have looked at Paleo but again it I find it impractical and too strict so when I think about a meal I think 1. Protein source 2. Veg/fruit 3. Carbs Treats every now and again. I am much happier and healthier I think.

Here's to balance.

Stay Strong and Well done!

The loss of libido is a good

The loss of libido is a good sign - or to be more precise: It's a sign that this time, it's for real! When you are genuinely serious about overcoming this addicition there is almost bound to be some kind of flatline period. That's when the rewiring occurs, it's the calm before the storm. :)

You are healing now, and it might take quite a while.

Balance

Definitely for us addictive types is good. I can train very hard and live like a monk (well apart from one thing) but I can also be world beating at eating rubbish and not training. Balance over a long time is the key and that leads to consistency which is what people always say is vital about building fitness.
I like the simple 'rules' like don't eat it if it has a wrapper or if it has more than 3/4/5 ingredients. Even a home made dessert must be better as it doesn't have all additives.

I'm always

the devil's advocate, too. Fortunately, Gary's son is the same way, so Gary was well trained before we got together. Both of us are Libras. Are you?

Many a relapse comes down to alcohol use. But if you do something to make browsing impossible before you go out, you may be able to have a social drink without problems. Are you familiar with the "Self-control" app? Maybe you could set it until the following morning before you go out. http://visitsteve.com/made/selfcontrol/

Becoming more argumentative

Interesting observation about your getting more argumentative in conversations. I haven't experienced this, but lots of people report feeling more assertive once they start a re-boot, and pushing an argument in a conversation is a form of assertiveness, so this could be a subtle manifestation of that effect.

But man is a carnivorous

But man is a carnivorous production,
And must have meals, at least one meal a day;
He cannot live, like woodcocks, upon suction,
But, like the shark and tiger, must have prey;
Although his anatomical construction
Bears vegetables, in a grumbling way,
Your labouring people think, beyond all question,
Beef, veal, and mutton, better for digestion.

Lord Byron -- Don Juan

I believe meat is a more concentrated form of vegetables. This morning, after my morning run, I had raw 80/20 ground beef, raw suet, onion, 3 boiled eggs, one cup of blueberries with heavy cream, two apples and one bar of pemmican. Lots of fat, moderate protein, few carbs. That's how I roll and I love it.

Not everyone

needs the same diet, but it is important to experiment until you find what works for you. Many people need more protein and fewer carbs.

Who knows what symptoms are coming from what, but gradually things will shake out. Just be patient and do your best to look after yourself.

How is your

social life? A key function of libido is to connect us with others, not just for sex, but also for fun, flirting and exchanging social cues.

There are very different ways

to skin this cat. Some people take it one habit at a time (generally recommended). Others don't, because their other habits promote relapse. I've even read about guys managing to unhook from porn gradually by watching tamer and tamer stuff. (I should think that's a very l-o-n-g road, but at the end of the day, who cares?)

The key is to find what works for you, and to be gentle with yourself while you figure it out. A guy here started another forum for rebooters, BTW: www.yourbrainrebalanced.com