Wooohooo

Submitted by Somedaysomeday on
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Yes! Today we made it to day 60.
I'm proud. It's actually weird in a way, but as others mentioned before, after a while the abstaining just gets routine. The last 3 weeks or so seemed so easy, and my mind was so busy with other interesting things to do: music, study, exercising, getting out with friends, meeting new people...
These things definitely help you in the process, and the fun part is that all these activities become even more intense as our brains now seek their dopamine rush in the little things.
I don't think it wasn't so much 'abstaining' in a strict sense after a while. A year ago I couldn't imagine that a human could make it without sex for so long, so easy.
For me this is a very interesting experiment. I believe I still can be triggered by porn though, even this week flashbacks seemed to come out of nowhere, but deliberately putting them off makes them disappear as fast as they turned up, and just seems the right thing to do.
I'm definetly a better man right now. Before all this, I was planning to work on my flawed social skills in the future. I'm not saying I'm the alpha male all of a sudden, and there is still work to be done on that area, but man, I feel much more comfortable with myself and with others nowadays. Beautiful.

No girlfriend yet, but I'm not interested in a relationship right now. As you can read in my other entries, I've gone through some serious doubts about my sexuality the last year. Porn triggered some weird viewing behaviour, for unforeseen and absurd material, which I now all see as an acquired taste.
So I think I need to give myself some time to getting close to women. It seems more fun to interact with women nowadays though. And I believe it's getting better.

One of the few confusing parts right now are the sexually tinted dreams. Sometimes they cover an early porn scene or really weird stuff. Other times I'm dreaming that I couldn't hold it anymore and relapsed. But I read some advice over here to not give them too much attention. I think that's important. I don't believe dreams reveal an ultimate truth. I do think they bring aspects of inner conflict to the surface, like abstaining from porn is nowadays.

I didn't really figure out how I'm gonna continue this journey. That's where I was hoping for some tips from the pros...
My gut tells me I have to go on a little further with the full abstinence. Because flashbacks are still there, maybe once back on sex and orgasm, the early pathways can easily become retriggered?
I don't know. Is it ok to build in a healthy occasional masturbation routine right now?
For how many months have some of you conciously gone without any sex? And was there more relevant progress during the third month?

It would be nice to hear some insights from others here!

All the best,

someday

Comments

Hmm yeah, don't really see

Hmm yeah, don't really see it that way, but you may be right. Allways need to keep up that guard, especially during the good days. Smile

Some nice intimate sexual intercourse would be nice now though, maybe I need to go out more. Smile

Nice blog btw.

So good to hear

your news. Congratulations!

You know, those are questions that only you can answer. You read this FAQ right? http://yourbrainonporn.com/how-do-i-know-when-im-back-to-normal

When you feel confident, then it's time to experiment with masturbation if you like. But pick a sensible schedule, and watch for escalation. This FAQ may be interesting too: http://yourbrainonporn.com/are-there-any-guidelines-for-healthy-masturba...

hey congrats man, I have the

hey congrats man, I have the same problem as you do with porn esclation to the point of gay or transexual porn. You have done very well, 60 days is a long time. I have managed to drop the porn, but I still am unable to stop MO without porn for anything longer than a week. Keep it up! My suggestion is not to MO at all, if you MO chasers will hit you. Its better to drop MO once and for all.

haha, I have yet to figure

haha, I have yet to figure out that myself, if porn is a problem, K9 works best, but you must have to courage to throw away the password once and for all. If you keep the password, there is always that temptation to view stuff. And the thing with porn blockers is it solves only part of the problem, once you drop the porn, the urges will soon translate into MO. I found when I was on prozac, the desire to MO was at a minimum, after I got off prozac, the urges were much worse. As for stopping to MO, it is still something I have not yet been able to drop. masterbation at any time is counterproductive, I find if you are able to drop MO, drop it once and for all. There is no looking back and no Masterbation at all. If you still continue to masterbate, the urges grow worse. MO addiction is as bad as porn, because MO you cannot block it with a porn blocker. While you can do that with porn. Realistically, the best way to drop MO is to go cold turkey, if you try to ease off masterbation it will only worsen the urges. Of course there will be withdraw symptoms with going cold turkey. Be prepared to face it.

btw I am also giving

btw I am also giving hypnosis a second try, this time I want to keep it up, Last time I used it for 2 weeks and I didnt continue, this time I am going to make an effort to use it everyday for as long as possible. Update you guys on it soon. =)