Meeting someone while out

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Submitted by life-cubed on
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I would appreciate advice from males and females here!

Guys: Picture the scene, you're out, get chatting to an attractive woman, etc etc you see where I'm heading. Things start getting sexual but you're either still worried about E.D., performance anxiety, or just want to avoid orgasm due to re-booting.

How would you handle the situation?

Ladies: I am generally convinced that meeting someone while out always has to end in sex/one night stand, which I'm not much good at yet! So let's say you meet a guy while you're out. You like him, he likes you. What's on your mind?

Thanks for any and all posts!

You can just stay friendly

You can just stay friendly and continue to have fun with her without getting sexual. Most women will be pleasantly surprised that you happen to be a guy that just wants friendly contact with no necessary sex. If she starts wondering why you aren't making further advances on her she might ask if you have a girlfriend. That's a time where you can tell that you're in a point in your life where you must put all focus on yourself so you're "single with a purpose".

As far as I know, women don't think it must end in a one night stand. But yes, you may have to turn down women while rebooting. I've had to do the same and it doesn't feel pretty but it's just the other side of the story.

But of course you can make out and take it as far as you're comfortable with. Even a guy can say "I'm not going further than this". A good measure for ED may be to check if you're getting an erection while making out, or even while just dancing with a woman.

Thanks thebeg, glad you can

Thanks thebeg, glad you can understand what I'm trying to say!

Thing is I still feel so nervous as I associate 'no-strings' or unplanned sex with E.D., embarrassment, etc etc. I never used to have E.D. while fooling around with my last girlfriend. Other issues (jealousy etc) but not that!!

Maybe I just find it hard (Sorry for the pun) to go with the moment. Maybe if it does happen I'll be fine. It would be nice to jusy enjoy the company, and the potential of sex, no matter what happens.

What about

enjoying yourselves and then going dancing or something? Then at the end say, "I really like you, can I see you again? I've got to get up early tomorrow, so I need to get home."

In other words, use the contact to set up a future meeting...when you're both sober and can see how strong the connection really is. Wink

I like it Marnia! I've used

I like it Marnia! I've used the early reason before, but the difference this time is setting up a new avenue/oppurtunity rather than just running away as fast as possible in an anxiety-ridden mess!

I'm nervous about going out

I'm nervous about going out tomorrow already...but I do feel slightly different than before I started this.

I just hope that if I do 'get lucky' everything will work as it should. Ironic really, that I'd PREFER not to rush to bed...

I have, but it would be nice

I have, but it would be nice to just be a 'normal' bloke and be able to go with it.

Although, I have no problem with taking things slowly, I enjoy that too. :)

It's all good, and someone needs to explain that to my you know what! :D


You'll be fine. Just enjoy the date, and concentrate on making her feel good about herself. You won't have much focus left for feeling anxious. Smile