Made it to 7 days! [1]

Hello everyone.

So far this year I have made it to six days twice and 12 days once without masturbating to porn. I am now on my seventh day of being porn and masturbation free.

I am 47 and have suffered from ED my whole life. However it was only recently, due to this site and others, that I began to believe it might be due to my lifelong porn addiction.

Here is my story. Unfortunately for me I discovered porn way before my first sexual experience. From the first time I looked at it I was hooked (my brother left a copy of Penthouse out on his bed) as there was just something so mesmerizing about it . Then, when I was about 15, I would steal porn magazines from my local convenience store. When I turned 18 was when things really took a turn for the worse as I could now get into the Pussycat Theater. My favorite genre was by far two lesbians. I also now see how getting turned on by this is about as far away from getting turned on by conventional sex that one can get.

By the time I had my first sexual experience at 21 I already been masturbating to porn for over 6 years. As you might guess I couldn't get it up or if I could it went soft during penetration. Fortunately for me it was also about this time that I moved out from my parents home and into an apartment with two roommates. This was a time during which I was no longer able to look at and masturbate to porn freely and also the time I was able to have successful penetration without the ED. I found that I was meeting and having sex with so many women (probably 15 over a two year period) that I no longer had much interest in masturbating to porn. It was only after I got a place of my own that I fell back onto my old habit and the ED returned. I could now go to the local video store and rent and then masturbate to all the lesbian porn videos I wanted and no one would ever know about it.

During this time I had several girlfriends and after the initial time period of not being able to get it up I would be able to have successful intercourse with them without losing my erection. I now believe this was probably because I was not masturbating to porn during the times I was in a relationship. Now that I look back the saddest part of my addiction was that I broke up with one girlfriend I had and was having sex with partly because I wanted to go back to masturbating to lesbian porn without feeling guilty about it.

That was about 13 years ago and until recently I had not had a sexual relationship since. Something about masturbating to porn (especially now that it is all over the internet and so easily accessed) that kills the drive to meet and date women. I had opportunities but I always told myself that I "just didn't feel like it".

Several months ago I met someone and started a sexual relationship with her. The first time I was with her I was expecting some initial ED but this was worse than anything I have ever experienced as I couldn't produce any erection whatsoever. I tried Viagra and Cialis and even though this initially produced an erection it went away as soon as I penetrated her. When I am inside of her it is as if her vagina feels very loose compared to the tightness I am used to with my hand.

Things have gotten better recently as I am now able to keep it half hard but I think she might be losing interest (I can't say I blame her). All I can do is stay porn and masturbation free. I have read on here that it takes 30 to 60 days to reboot the brain from porn addiction so I still have a long way to go.

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. I will provide updates in the future.