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Innocence to the rescue

Have you noticed that your "mea culpas" and your criticism of your bad behavior (or the worse behavior of others) have not helped to free you? This is because guilt and blame make sexual addiction stronger, as explained in the previous section. Try smurfettesomething new. Understand how innocent you are (and how innocent everyone one else is). The differences in the content of the images people become addicted to are not important. The link between arousal and content is capricious. However grim the resulting addiction, the cause is simply that someone inadvertently tripped a primitive switch in the brain that was designed for an entirely different function than making porn compelling. This is cause for correction, not condemnation. Perhaps someone warned you that porn was a bad idea before you began. However, you surely had no idea that it could subvert your will. If someone had predicted that you would find whips and chains enthralling, you would have laughed. After all, you hadn't received your Instruction Manual for the Primitive Brain. The sooner you see how innocently anyone can wander down this path, the less emotional charge the whole challenge will have for you. Without guilt in the picture, your withdrawal symptoms will be milder, and the naughtiness of whatever you find so riveting will begin to evaporate. When you escape the orgasm cycle, the material associated with it will have no more power over you than a cartoon.

Why me?

How does an angel like you find yourself in an oily bog like this?

I wanted to help people. I was sure I was going to be a priest/nun...until puberty hit.

He was such a spiritual little boy, but when he became a teen, his personality changed to cynicism and his behavior became...callous.

People thought I was going to be a rabbi/saddhu/imam/preacher when I was a child.

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If these quotations do not resonate with you, please proceed to the next section of this article.

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If these quotations remind you of your early spiritual aspirations, may we suggest that you are - beneath your addiction - still the person you sensed you were as a child? The world may be waiting for you to fulfill the uplifting mission you had then, and the world would benefit enormously when you awaken from your addictive trance and pursue your original goal of spiritual service. It's true that you first have to shed your addiction. Believe it or not the biggest gift of your addiction is that it is a severe addiction - one with which you will not be able to reach a comfortable compromise. To move beyond it, you may have to stop the fertilization-driven cycle of sexual highs and lows, and make a giant leap upward. To experiment with this, you would have to give up the search for "normal" (addictive) sexuality. This step gradually clears spiritual vision and restores the clarity and sense of direction one had as a child. chained angelAfter you have made this leap, you may discover that you likely put yourself on a collision course with sexual addiction precisely so that you

  1. could not get comfortable with sex used in the ordinary and traditional ways
  2. would have to rediscover the mystery of sacred sexuality, and
  3. would be able, ultimately, to become a living example of how humanity can rapidly awaken spiritually.

Esoteric spiritual traditions hold that fertilization-driven sex is humanity's biggest spiritual impediment. This is not because normal sex is "sinful." It's because of its effects on the brain. Sex used for physical gratification clouds spiritual perception. If you're a porn addict, you may currently have a severe case of this clouded perception, but even the average person's milder case is a very effective spiritual anchor. This is why many spiritual paths advise celibacy to gain spiritual clarity. Celibacy, however, will not permit mankind to tap the full potential of sacred union. Nor is celibacy easy to stabilize while the planet is quivering with sexual-indulgence - as many priests and gurus have demonstrated. Sex has a higher purpose than the world suspects. Perhaps you were determined to remember this...whatever it took. To ensure that you didn't end up muddling along in one of the uneasy sexual compromises the world prescribes, perhaps you came back with a lot of sexual energy. Before your mission you knew that you would - without an instruction manual - get it all terribly wrong for a time. Why would anyone do this? Perhaps you foresaw that humans were headed into a rapid downward spiral because they were about to take the healthy, vital, and long overdue step of disconnecting sex from sin - but with an unhealthy ignorance of how and why casual sex is addictive.

Are you an energy transformer?

Alcoholics Anonymous works because recovered alcoholics serve as examples - and support others in giving up alcohol. As you recover, you can perform a similar function for the human race. Become a living example. Show people that no matter how deep an addiction to sex is, a person can overcome it and reach for the heights. Never mind preaching, or explaining how destructive or degrading pornography and sexual addiction are. This makes others' "sins," and your own, more real. Simply show them how to locate the light switch and put an end to their bad dreams - by putting an end to your own. The world has been unable to use sex for a spiritual end because it believes sex to be only for procreation or recreation, or else "dangerous" or "sinful." Most traditions that contain echoes of sacred sexuality are almost as hampered as the Abrahamic religions because they have lost the vital concepts of mutual nurturing and mutual self-control. In touchorder to tap the sacred potential of sex, we can't deny sexual desire, or marginalize it by trying to ignore it in between orgasms. The key is to use it only for a single purpose: reunion with our Source. In our experience, there are two ways to go about this.

  • One can begin in a relationship devoted to controlled intercourse. This gradually shifts the couple's priorities away from material goals toward the desire for union with Source.
  • While celibate, one can get clear that union with Source is so important that one is willing to give up orgasm to clear one's spiritual vision. Then one connects with whomever the Divine may designate in order to achieve reunion with Source.

Neither path is better or faster. Both accomplish the key goal of placing spiritual awakening before all other goals for sexual desire. "That's very sweet, but I can't get to sleep unless I have an orgasm."