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If you are blessed enough to have a partner, you have a way to make your withdrawal and recovery far less uncomfortable. By carefully approaching your partner with less passion and more nurturing affection, you can produce more of the hormone (oxytocin) that eases cravings holding handsand makes any type of withdrawal easier.

However, the risk is great that you will fall back into conventional sex as soon as your sense of well-being returns. Your primitive brain will then soon persuade you that you need variety in your love life, and you'll be right back where you are now, more discouraged than ever. Read about the Coolidge Effect, to strengthen your resolve. Remember, your goal is not sexual sobriety as the world defines it. It's lasting well-being, harmony, and, perhaps even greater spiritual awareness.

To understand what we're recommending, have a look at our article, "Discovering healing and transformation through intimacy." Also recommended: the exercises in part two of Peace Between the Sheets.

I think I'm with the wrong person

Changing partners will not solve your problem. First, your happiness is not dependent upon more orgasms or sexual stimulation, remember? Even the most loving partner can't truly nourish/satisfy you that way. If your partner keeps giving you your "fix," or if you masturbate on your own, you will remain an addict.

Any current frustration with your partner is very likely biology at work, driving you to leave one mate and create a new family with another. Do you want a mindless biological reflex making your decisions? No, because you will simply repeat this pattern with your next partner.

As your perception clears up, you will be in a better place to figure out whether you and your mate belong together. Make no decisions while under the influence of your addiction. You are not seeing each other clearly. For now, make mutual healing your sole priority.