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One of the biggest impediments to recovery is the belief that others are having great sex lives, and that you would be missing out if you didn't look after yourself sexually. In fact, you may not be missing much if you're comparing your situation with most relationships based on conventional sex.

Here is Leo Tolstoy's account of his honeymoon:

TolstoyLove was exhausted with the satisfaction of sensuality. … I did not realize that this cold hostility was our normal state, and that this first quarrel would soon be drowned under a new flood of the intensest sensuality. I thought that we had disputed with each other, and had become reconciled, and that it would not happen again. But in this same honeymoon there came a period of satiety, in which we ceased to be necessary to each other, and a new quarrel broke out. It became evident that the first was not a matter of chance.

And here is his conclusion:

ninety-nine families out of every hundred live in the same hell, and … it cannot be otherwise." "But… all, like myself, imagine that it is a misfortune exclusively reserved for themselves alone, which they carefully conceal as shameful, not only to others, but to themselves, like a bad disease.…

Don't settle for half a loaf! See what storing your sexual magnetism will yield. What have you got to lose? Pass up your orgasms for a few weeks and see what happens.

Trying something new

Yoga, martial arts, meditation, spiritual contemplation, music, creative efforts, service to others, group activities, doing something that offers a sense of accomplishment, massages, petting and caring for your animal, laughter with friends, and hugs all help with periods of celibacy.

Socializing is essential when you're on your own. Contact with others gets some oxytocin flowing, and oxytocin has been shown to ease both addiction and withdrawal symptoms. Isolation doesn't help, unless you use it for some higher purpose, like connection with the Divine, strengthening your resolve, or doing something fulfilling. At the very least, join this site and visit the forum and blogs, or even ask to start your own blog (in a post anywhere). Why not register to be a Courtly Companion?

no need to be lonelyA friend in Italy found that when he cut out masturbation, women approached him within weeks, and other friends have found the same thing.

Be willing to try a daring solution for your addiction. After all, compromise (fewer orgasms or orgasms not based on porn) hasn't worked. There may be an excellent reason for this, which you will only discover when you reach for clarity without compromising.

Many wish there was a "magic bullet" for contented singlehood. Yet if there were one, then we humans would never rediscover the potential that lies in our intimate relationships. Go for it!

Rechanneling your sexual energy

While you're regaining your balance, you may find the following solo exercises helpful.

6th Tibetan Rite (Be sure to read entire post, which is by a father who helped his porn-addicted son with this technique.)

Fire Breath

Transmuting Sexual Energy

Own-body Sexual Yoga