Chapter 6: Application of the Rules - Part 3

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CASE VIII.

Consultation (a): Miss Esther K., twenty-seven years old, a teacher in a private school, came to my office in a disturbed state. She said she did not know what was wrong with her and burst into tears. Most of her story came out badly muffled by her handkerchief

It chiefly concerned Ted, a man thirty-two years old, whom she had met, a year ago, at a summer resort. He was a chemist employed by a big oil company. They had fallen in love at first sight and were together all day long during their two weeks' vacation. They had become so attached to each other that she had followed his suggestion, changed her school and moved to his town. In the beginning they met every evening, had dinner together, went to movies or concerts or listened to the radio, either at his apartment or at hers.

After a few weeks she suddenly did not want to see him any more, even though she felt she was still in love with him. She

said it was like an obsession; she had to avoid him, even his voice made her nervous. But after a week or so, her desire to see him returned in full force, and their meetings began again and seemed more wonderful than ever. Then an uncontrollable compulsion to free herself from him set in once more. Such changes had become the rule. She could not understand herself. She asked if I thought she was a mental case.

Before answering that question I asked her to tell me sincerely how she and Ted had expressed their love for each other on their evenings together at home.

She said they held hands and kissed each other, but nothing improper happened. He had never tried anything like that.

"Were your kisses passionate? Tongue kisses?" I asked. She nodded her head.

"Be assured, you are not a mental case," I told her. "Your ambivalent feelings toward Ted are quite understandable. But I would prefer to explain them to you in Ted's presence."

Consultation (b): A few days later Esther and Ted consulted me together. Ted was a tall, intelligent looking, young man with sensitive features.

"There is something I think I should tell you," I said, as soon as they were seated. "You two are well on the way toward killing your love for each other. I think this would be a great pity, for I am convinced that you are genuinely suited to each other."

They were astonished and wanted to know what they were doing that was likely to kill their love.

"You are in the habit of making love when you should not," I said. "And this is what happens: With your kisses you awaken radiation out of your cells. This radiation tenses your bodies. It flows through the palms of your hands, through the mucosae of your lips and tongues, toward each other; but kissing, even for hours and hours, cannot relax you; in fact it has just the

contrary effect. The delight you feel in holding hands, the thrill you find in the contact of lips and tongues, gives you a local relaxation, but, at the same time, sets free an ever increasing amount of bio-electricity in your systems.

"Such love-play is a preparation for sex union, but should not be an end in itself. Your conduct would have been less disastrous to you some years ago, because with boys and girls in their teens it takes time to awaken these radiations, usually weeks, sometimes even months; but, once these radiations are fully awakened and the kisses become passionate and a deep, love feeling sets in, release from increasing tension becomes imperative and nature drives the two partners to the sex act. Without this culmination the tension becomes unbearable. That is the reason that the young lady here has to separate from you; it is her way of protecting herself against her hypertension. With time she calms down; then her love for you reasserts itself, and the cycle is repeated.

"I have hardly ever known a passionately devoted couple, in close and continuous contact with each other, who resisted nature's demand for intercourse, or for sleeping together in close contact throughout the night, who did not eventually separate, usually with feelings of repulsion, or even hatred."

Ted said he understood and asked what I advised. I replied, a little sharply, that either he had not understood or had not wanted to understand, because only one answer was possible. Either he should marry Esther and give her the desired full relaxation, or they should separate from each other.

As they left I noticed that Ted looked disturbed, while Esther was obviously contented and happy.

Consultation (c): Three months later I received a visit from Ted and concluded that the two had separated. Ted reported that they had not seen each other since they were last here, until yesterday, when she came back to him and gave

him to understand that she was willing to have sex relations without marriage. But he felt that he could not accept her offer; he knew her to be too honest and religious a person for such a relationship; he thought it would disturb her conscience and end in some kind of disaster.

"So you are thinking of marrying her?" I suggested.

"No," he said, "That's my trouble I've had a good many love affairs, mostly with decent women; but always, soon after we became intimate, my interest in them faded. I did not want it to, it just did. I'd like to protect Esther from such a fate. I know that my feelings aren't to be trusted; they're too changeable. It isn't that I'm a Don Juan; I know the way you psychoanalysts think. It is true I was deeply attached to my mother, she's dead now, but my persistent unfaithfulness to women does not spring from excessive faithfulness to my mother. I'm certain that I haven't a mother complex. Actually, I'm ashamed to say, I scarcely ever think about her any more."

I said that he seemed to have thought about this trait of his a good deal and asked how he could explain his changeable feelings.

His theory was that our senses easily grow fatigued and need a rest. He cited roses: how long can one enjoy their fragrance? Bury your face in a rose, a few seconds, and you don't smell it any more. You have to draw away, for a time, in order to enjoy it again. It's the same way with our other senses. He then mentioned a famous candy store where the owner lets her employees eat all the chocolates they want. Within a few days the girls develop such a distaste for chocolates they can't touch another one.

With love, which makes use of all our senses, we cannot expect different rules. Habit, he said, was what he dreaded most. It makes life so dull. Marriage would force him into habits, and thus inevitably kill his love for Esther.

I agreed that the laws of the senses were applicable to love

and marriage, but suggested that the wiser course would be to learn to utilize this knowledge to gain more pleasure rather than avoid it in fear of satiety. "The rules are simple," I told him. "Never drink to the point of intoxication or you will wake up disgusted; never indulge your sexual pleasure to the point of satiation, then marriage will prove beautiful to you

That, he retorted, was easier said than done. Not many have self-control enough to be able to stop drinking when they are still thirsty, he observed; and it was even more difficult for a man to refrain from possessing his wife when his love for her was near ecstasy. That required a strong character and he was not made that way. I nodded and said nothing.

"But there's something else that makes me unfit for marriage," he went on after a pause, "my immense desire for freedom. I find any sort of compulsion unbearable. If anyone says 'you must' to me, my hackles rise immediately. Even a beggar who wants to force me to pity him, makes me so rebellious I won't give him a penny."

He had obviously touched on a point on which he felt strongly, so I let him go on.

"How can you feel to order?" he exclaimed. "To say 'I will' to all that rigmarole in the wedding ceremony that ends: 'till death do you part' is asinine! As though love, hate or any other feeling could be willed into being!"

I assented.

"Then there's this question of exclusiveness," he continued. "It's an unreasonable and unjustifiable limitation. Because I love Beethoven, do I have to close my ears when I hear Tschaikowsky or Bach? Because I marry Esther, must I become blind to the charms of every other woman? This demand that I force my feelings and thoughts is so revolting to me that it would automatically become impossible for me to continue to love a person whom I was legally obliged to love.

"You see, Doctor, I am not an apt subject for marriage. It

is precisely because I love Esther, that I cannot marry her," he concluded.

"Yours is a strong argument," I said. "The only trouble is that it is based on a false premise."

"What false premise?"

"The idea that you are being forced," I said. "That is a neurotic obsession," When he had time to digest that, a little, I went on. "I am quite sure that something in your childhood would provide a key that would explain the potency of this obsession. Perhaps a too stern father or an over-anxious mother hampered your upbringing and created in you this compulsive desire for freedom. But it is a mere swing of the pendulum. Pushed too far to one side, it has now gone too far to the other. The compulsion removed, it will find the center.

"We all have to impose some restraints on ourselves in order to get along in life. Traffic, industry, education, culture, every form of social activity, would be unthinkable without certain limitations of our freedom. If we were really free we could drive on the left of the road whenever we chose to do so. Most of us think that life is worth the sacrifice of that small freedom. The same principle applies to the life of two people in a marriage, which develops into a family. There are 'rules of the road,' forms of mutual consideration, which it is sensible to accept and obey. Think this over and make up your mind. I am afraid, if you don't try to get a clearer picture of marriage, you will lose Esther, and so miss a great opportunity for lasting happiness; and not only that, someday you will realize what a mistake you have made and become very dissatisfied with yourself and very miserable."

Ted thought this over for a while and then straightened up in his chair and said, "Doctor, you may be right! That was certainly a good guess about my upbringing. It may be the true explanation of my behaviour. I will certainly think over what you have said."

As he was leaving I begged him, if he decided to get married, to come to me first, as I had some directions to give him to help make his marriage a success. He thanked me curtly and said he did not think he would trouble me. In that respect he did not need help!

"Again the compulsion to resist being told what to do?" I inquired. "I only intended to offer you advice. I am afraid you will have to work hard if you want to find your way out," I said. "But try! The results will be worth it."

Consultation (d): Three months went by and Ted and Esther came to see me again, looking very depressed.

"Still together and still not married," I thought; but I was mistaken. They had been married for six weeks but it hadn't worked. Ted said he had followed my advice; he thought he had changed a great deal. He was sure it was not his fault that their marriage had not worked out as they had hoped. The first two weeks had been good. Then, little by little, Esther's antipathy toward him had set in, as before. And now, if she consented to intercourse, it was obviously more out of duty than for pleasure. So, he concluded, it was not he who had failed her but she who had failed him. He thought there was something wrong with her.

Esther began to protest but I begged her to be calm and let me first ask her husband some questions. "You both want help," I said, "otherwise you would not have come to me. I cannot help you if we do not speak plainly and sincerely."

"Of course," Ted agreed. "Go on!"

I then asked how often he had been having intercourse with his wife. Two or three times a day, at first, he reported; but, after two weeks, it had dropped to once a day; then every second day; and now, during the last two weeks, scarcely twice a week.

I then inquired concerning his wife's response and learned

that it had been excellent at the beginning. They had both enjoyed their sex relations immensely. Esther had come to a full orgasm. But, after a few weeks, her response ceased entirely; and, in the end, it was obvious that intercourse had become repulsive to her.

My next question concerned duration. At first how long a time had it taken to bring her to an orgasm?

The answer was, "a few minutes."
"And what happened then?" I inquired.
"Very satisfied, I went to my own bed and slept," he replied.
"You have twin beds? You do not sleep together?" I asked.
"No! We both have jobs and need undisturbed sleep." Ted
replied. "In the evenings we sometimes used to get into the same bed for a while and read," he added. "But not in the last few weeks. She does not let me into her bed even for a short time."

"Did you take any precautions against pregnancy?" I inquired. "No! We both want a child. But as things are now, I think it would be better not to have one," Ted said.

I got the picture. I was sorry they had not done as I asked and come to me before their wedding. I was sure both of them could have been spared this unhappiness and disappointment, and said so.

"But how?" they asked in unison.

"You remember the advice I gave you, not to awaken too much radiation out of your organism with passionate kisses, without providing relaxation through a normal sex act? But what is a normal sex act? Not your kind of intercourse! You have violated at least two of the six rules of sex perfection.

"You no doubt remember some of your physics from school days? You know that if you rub a fox tail on a hard rubber disk electricity is set free from the two objects. The same principle is at work during the sex act. The friction of the penis

in the vagina sets free two different kinds of bio-electricity. The difference of bio-electricity, in the male and female sex organs, forces the radiations of the body, delivered through the preceding love play, to flow toward the vagina and penis, where they neutralize each other. With their neutralization the tension of the body ceases. But it takes about half an hour for full relaxation to be achieved.

"Now think this over. In what way have you prevented the necessary full neutralization from taking place? Obviously you have not allowed time enough; the bio-electricity produced through love play and sex union has remained in the organism and the tension it causes has increased with each intercourse. Nature revolted and blocked any further discharge, and Esther became frigid and avoided furthering torturing attempts.

"This, Ted, explains the failure of your sex relations with Esther. It may also account for the briefness of your previous attachments and the sense of failure in which they ended. What you have hitherto thought of as perverse faithlessness may, very well, have had its source in this one simple fact."

The couple sat silent for a time, then Esther spoke up, "Doctor, you said we violated two of the six rules. What are the others?" I gave the instruction she asked for and they departed, leaving me in considerable doubt as to whether they would follow my rules or not.

EPILOGUE
In December 1947, I received the following letter:
DEAR DOCTOR:

It is three years since we were last in your office. We did not consult you again for two reasons. First, I was transferred to the South; second, we did not need any more help. The instructions

you gave us transformed our marriage; they made heaven out of hell. And not for us only. My brother-in-law and a friend of my wife's, to whom we gave your rules, have benefited equally. We have a baby girl and if our next, which we expect in three months, is a boy, he will be honored to have your name.

In grateful admiration,

TED and ESTHER K ....

Postscript: Unfortunately for the doctor the second child was also a girl, so he now has to wait for the third baby.

CASE IX.

Mr. Herbert R., a middle-aged man, called on behalf of his daughter Hilda. She had married a year before and his son-in law was now suing for a divorce. He said his daughter was a wonderful girl in every respect but she was in great trouble of some kind. His wife and he had both begged her to confide in them but in vain. He believed she was still in love with her husband for she seemed even more heartbroken than they were. However, yesterday his wife had found out that they both wanted to come to me for help and had made an appointment for the next day. He wanted to give me some information before their visit.

I replied that, generally, I preferred to form my own conclusions about my cases, uninfluenced by relatives. However, since he was here, he might as well tell me what he had come to say.

It turned out that he only wanted to outline the background of the two people concerned. Hilda was his only daughter, twenty-one years of age and beautiful.

"We have given her an excellent education," he said. "I am not conceited but you will not find many children who have had all their senses as well developed as Hilda's. We took special care to teach her to observe and appreciate nature, to

enjoy good books, good pictures, good music, rather than to waste her time on what others call good times. Her mother had a special talent for teaching her the arts and skills of homemaking; the result is that she really enjoys them. We both believe that being a good housewife is an essential factor in a girl's future happiness. We have seen too many inexperienced social butterflies who have had suddenly to take over the duties of a household, after marriage, only to find that they hated them.

"Reasoning along these lines, we did not encourage our daughter Hilda to go to college. My wife and I were convinced that to teach a girl, from childhood on, how to create a well-ordered home and become a good wife and mother, is more important than trying to fill her mind with a more or less superficial knowledge of scientific doctrines, which can't be of much use to her unless she denies the demands of her nature and becomes a scientist. You probably think our views old. fashioned. They may be. I myself am a contractor and builder. After graduating from university I married a country girl who had only gone halfway through high school. But she is sensitive to all the beauties of nature and has a marvelous amount of intuition. For me to come home after a hard day's work, is like entering a haven of peace. And my wife is happy in making me happy.

"When I see other women, dissatisfied with life, in spite of all their education ... "

He was evidently off on one of his pet themes. I reminded him that he had come to tell me about his daughter.

"What I'm trying to get at is this," he said. "It makes me sick to see people ruining their lives looking for happiness where they can never find it. We wanted to protect Hilda from this fate, but all our efforts seem to have been in vain. Her marriage has gone to pieces like the others."

"Did she "make a wrong love choice?" I asked. "What kind of a man is your son-in-law?"

He said that Robert was a fine fellow, only twenty-three years old. He and Hilda had gone to high school together. They were always good friends, but at that time not more than friends. He went on to college and then to war, so there was an interval of some years when they did not see each other. But when he came back from overseas, a captain in spite of his youth, they promptly fell love. Mr. R. had taken Robert into his business and he was doing very well. He could take responsibility, was reliable, honest and considerate and still in love with Hilda. He had no complaints about Bob. That is why he and his wife were so bewildered. He thought it an insoluble riddle.

I said I would do my best to solve this seemingly insoluble riddle, and he begged me to consider his visit confidential. I assured him I would do so.

Next day the young couple arrived. Hilda was indeed a very beautiful girl, sympathetic and charming as well; Robert, a pleasant, clean-cut young man. They informed me that they had applied for a divorce. He had barely said this when Hilda said it would be better for him to speak with me alone and that she would be in the waiting room. I had considerable difficulty persuading her to remain.

"Please stay," I said, "and hear what he has to say. Correct his report if you disagree with it." Then I urged him to speak frankly and tell me what their trouble was.

"Hilda and I harmonize in every respect but one," he reported. "It is our sex ... "

At that word Hilda rose again, saying that she saw no necessity for her to be present during the discussion of such intimate details.

"Young lady," I said sternly, "were you in love with your husband when you married him?"

"Of course!" she said. "I am still in love with him."

"Then your sex relations should be beautiful for you both," I said, "and nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about."

She said something about not liking to have her intimate life discussed in public, and I protested that this wasn't "public," just one extra person and he a psychologist, trained to help people in their sex troubles.

Hilda replied that she had not wanted to come; she felt it was useless, but Robert had insisted.

"My dear Hilda, - you must allow me to call you Hilda - " I said, "either you or Robert needs help. You belong to each other. Sex is a matter for two. Therefore you both have a part in whatever maladjustments exist in your sex relations and, together, you need to work out with me how to deal with them. Therefore I ask you both, please stay here, relax, and try to look on sex as the perfectly natural thing it is." I then asked Robert to go on.

The story he revealed was indeed a difficult one to tell. It began on their wedding night when something dreadful happened. Robert was, of course, very excited at having Hilda entirely to himself after their six months' engagement, but Hilda was reluctant and frightened. It was hours before she gave in. But even when she did he could not enter, she was too tight. He had to use vaseline. When at last he was in, she became so tight, he thought it must have been due to a cramp in the muscles, that he could not move or even withdraw. In great pain she began to scream. Robert had heard about two lovers who could not separate from one another and the sex organ of the man had become gangrenous. He was panic-stricken. In his despair, he hit her. At that moment of her shock he was able to withdraw. They had both felt wounded for days.

Fortunately, I told him, he had done the right thing. That was really his salvation. From that day on, I supposed, he had

been afraid to make any further attempt at intercourse.

Not entirely, he said. His intense craving to possess her remained. He would even have tried again if she would have let him. He had consulted Dr. L. who had recommended a treatment whereby the vagina could be enlarged. This Hilda absolutely refused to undergo. The mere suggestion terrified her. He was amazed that she had consented to see me.

"And, during this past year, you have had no sex relations of any kind with each other?" I inquired.

"Once," he said, "a sort of sex play on her part." Again Hilda rose to leave, very red in the face.

"Please relax and sit down," I said to her. "Very soon you will see how necessary it is to discuss this matter thoroughly." She hesitated and resumed her seat.

I then asked for information concerning the nature of this sex play. Robert said that, overcome by his craving for release, he had begged her to touch his sex organ, which, reluctantly, she did. But at the moment when he got an erection she shrank back and refused to bring him relaxation. He had not asked her again and she had not touched him since. "Doctor," he burst out in despair, "I am young, deeply in love with my wife and I want to be faithful to her. I am not a boy any more and I hate to masturbate myself. It cannot go on like this. The situation is unbearable. As much as I love Hilda I shall have to get a divorce, for her sake as much as mine; she is no less unhappy than I."

"Don't be in too great haste!" I said, "Let us first examine your trouble more carefully." I then asked if they occupied the same bed.
Robert said no, that he did not dare to go to her bed, much as he desired her, for he knew that if he lay close to her, he could not help having an erection, and the moment she felt his erection she would push him away. The erections were so

painful to him he had to avoid getting into her bed. He said no one could imagine the torments he had suffered.

Here Hilda broke in to say that she could imagine them, that she knew how terrible it must be for him; but that it was just as painful for her. But what could she do? When he became sexually excited, fear overwhelmed her so strongly she wanted to die. At this point she was overcome by convulsive sobs and could say no more. Robert took her tenderly in his arms and begged her to calm down saying, "We are here now; the doctor will help you."

"Nobody can help me!" she moaned in heart-breaking tones.

"Of course you can be helped, Hilda," I said. "I am practically certain that there is nothing wrong with you physically. You are right to refuse the enlarging treatments you are afraid of. They would not help as long as the cause of the cramps in the vagina is not discovered. I am quite sure that your vagina is not too narrow; you make it narrow by contracting your muscles. Something must have happened in your childhood which causes this fear of the penis. It is not natural, and if we can trace it to its source, I believe we can overcome it."

Calmer now, Hilda assured me that nothing had happened in her childhood and that she had never seen a man's organ, until she married Robert.

I said that I suspected the existence of some occurrence which she did not remember because it had been so frightful for her that she had completely buried it in her unconsciousness.

Robert then told me that he had been wanting Hilda to be analysed for some time, but had hesitated to urge it because he understood that it was an endless performance and very expensive.

I explained that a psychoanalysis is an operation on the soul, not less important to a person's welfare than a physical operation. It is subtle work, I said, requiring long study and

wide experience; but, in the end, most patients agree that the peace of mind and relaxation they attain is worth what it costs.

As we were talking, Hilda came suddenly out of a brown study. "Doctor," she exclaimed, "Something has just come into my mind.!"

"What?" I asked urgently. "Speak out!"

She then recounted an event that had taken place when she was about eight years old. She had had a school friend, called Madi, who lived about a mile away. There were no houses between, only fields. Madi's mother and hers were intimate friends. Every day Madi called for Hilda on her way to school. One morning Hilda waited for her companion a long time but she didn't come, so she went on to school alone. There she found an atmosphere of great excitement. Something had happened to Madi, something mysterious. The teacher would not tell them what it was. When Hilda reached home that afternoon and was about to enter the living room she heard Madi's mother saying in a most disturbed voice, "And this beast of a man raped my child. The doctors at the hospital want to console me, but I know the poor child is ruined for life." Hilda wondered what "raped" meant. She asked her mother who expressed consternation that the child had overheard the conversation and said that raped was a dirty word, which she should not have heard, and must not repeat.

I heaved a sigh of relief. I knew now that Hilda would not need a psycholanalysis. "Tell me, Hilda," I said, "what explanation did your mother give you in later years?"

"None," she said. "Neither father nor mother ever discussed sex matters with me." "Then it was Madi herself who told you what this man had done with her?" I asked.

"No," she said, "I never saw Madi again. As soon as she was released from the hospital, the family moved away."

"Then how did you learn what the word raped meant?" This was important. I had to find out.

"It was some years later," Hilda said. "I was about thirteen years old, when a girl explained to a group of us at school that some men have-have .. ." her voice faltered.

"Go on! Repeat what she told you," I urged.

" ... have penises like sticks of wood, too big for the hollow of a girl. When such a penis is forced in, she bursts. And that is called rape," she added reluctantly.

"And you believed such a yarn?" I asked, somewhat incredulously.

"When I heard it I felt revolted; I remembered that mother had forbidden me to listen to such things and went away and did not think any more about it," Hilda said.

"You may not have thought about it consciously, but it remained in your unconsciousness as a disastrous force," I told her. "Now you know why you are so afraid of every erection of the penis that, by an automatic reaction, you contract the muscles of your vagina. Unconsciously you try thus to protect yourself against Madi's fate

Hilda wanted to be reassured. Did I really think that was the reason?
I asked if it did not sound logical.

Robert was excited. "Do you mean that merely bringing this childhood occurrence to light like this can cure Hilda?" he exclaimed.

No, it was not quite so simple as that, I explained. But now that we knew the reason for her fear, we could find means to help her. I now believed that the case would be easier than I had thought at first, before she had told her story.

Robert was eager to know what the means were that might help her, and I told them that now that Hilda knew that she had been unconsciously influenced by her belief in stories about ruptured vaginas, she could, with time, overcome

her fear. I emphasized the two words with time, and went on to explain that, even though she now knew, intellectually, that she had nothing to fear, the automatic spasms in her vagina would continue, at every sexual approach, until she learned to disestablish this so-called conditioned reflex.

Hilda wanted to know how she could do this and I said I could give her five precepts which, if faithfully followed, would enable her to re-educate her muscles to respond in a normal instead of an abnormal manner. I then warned them that not all of my five precepts would be easy to follow, but said that I believed they could master them. I asked them to listen carefully and gave Robert a pencil and paper to jot down notes. Addressing myself to Hilda I went on:

First, I want you, every other evening, to take a hot bath lasting half an hour. Then lie down and let Robert give you a careful vaginal massage. While he is doing this, you must cooperate as much as you can. Relax! Relax! And learn to have feelings in the vagina. Concentrate on every movement of his fingers.

Second, secure from Robert his solemn promise not to attempt intercourse until your attitude is so changed that when he holds you naked in his arms and you feel his erections on your body, you still remain entirely relaxed.

Third, never let him touch your clitoris. To come to an orgasm only through this organ means that you still want a masturbatory act, a childish play for yourself alone, instead of a mutual play for two. You cannot expect ever to learn to feel in the vagina as long as your sensations are localized in the clitoris; at best your sex feelings will be split, instead of being concentrated. Learning to concentrate your sex feelings in the vagina may take time. But the stronger the will power the shorter the time.

Fourth, never use an artificial lubricant, such as vaseline, in order to make intercourse possible. The lubrication must be

produced naturally by your glands as a sign that you are willing and prepared for the sex act. If you are entirely moist before he enters, then you can be sure that your sex organs want the sex act and will not resist with any more spasms.

Fifth, learn to lie together in a certain position, which I will describe to you in detail, a position which allows close contact between the two sex organs without sex union. When you have fulfilled these five demands, come to me again and I will teach you the six rules that lead to sex perfection. I believe that, in spite of your initial handicap, you both can reach this goal.

Robert asked if I really thought there was hope of reconciling their marriage, and I said that, if they would follow these instructions, I was certain of it

They left looking somewhat more cheerful but soberly thoughtful.

Two weeks later Robert returned, beaming with happiness. I guessed that his relations with Hilda had improved. Greatly improved, he reported. She was becoming increasingly passionate, her fears were diminishing, and her vagina was beginning to become lubricated by itself. He now wanted to learn about the six rules, in order to have his desired sex union with her.

This couple followed my advice in every respect. After their first year of frustration and misery, they started their sex life in the right way and reached the highest goal of happiness. Eventually after several months of normal, highly satisfactory sex unions, Hilda became pregnant. From this time on they began to practice Karezza. (I had not recommended this method to them.) They fulfilled all the conditions for its full achievement: (a) they were deeply in love, (b) they were entirely suited to each other, emotionally, intellectually and physically, (c) they both possessed honest characters and had, strong determination and will power.

Two years after the birth of the first child, they wanted a second child. Exactly two weeks after the beginning of Hilda's menstrual cycle, they changed from Karezza to normal intercourse and Hilda became pregnant once more. They then took up Karezza again.

If I were to make a list of the marriages I have treated successfully, Robert and Hilda's would be at the top.

This case is remarkable for several reasons, not least among them being this: Hilda's experience demonstrates that a good ethical and cultural education cannot prevent marriage from resulting unhappily for even the best suited couples, without a proper sex education.

In reviewing the outcome of the treatment of the many other couples not selected for presentation here, one fact stands out: Those who had sufficient patience and will power to follow the six rules exactly, reached the goal of sex perfection and extreme happiness with each other. Character is important in sexual fulfillment.