Article by Marnia Robinson and Gary Wilson

Lovers' Ultimate Sex Hack: Karezza

Happy loversKarezza side effects may include more energy and a healthier libido

Not long ago, there was a brief publicity flurry about a venerable, but little known, approach to sex called "karezza" (pronounced ka-RET-za). ABC ran a news story and karezza articles showed up from Argentina to India. The ladies of The View even grappled with it. A karezza subreddit gained steam, and Germany gave birth to a new karezza website.

Pair Bonding 101: Beware Novelty-As-Aphrodisiac

How will you fill your pair-bonder “hole?”

Prairie volesIn recent years, scientists have been studying a fascinating mammal in greater depth: the prairie vole. There are many closely related vole species, but some species mate for life while others don't form pair bonds at all (like most mammals).

The prairie vole belongs to that curious 3 percent of "socially monogamous" mammal species, which includes humans. They pair up, usually for their short lives, sometimes with a bit of extra-pair coupling on the side ("cheating"). Again, like humans.

Comparing Neo-Daoism with Karezza

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Taoist loversTaoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia (with Michael Winn) was my first introduction to the wisdom of making love without striving for orgasm. This book made a big impression on me and I am very grateful to its authors. Chia, a neo-Taoist master, teaches men another way to manage their sexual energy, as well as the weakness in humanity's current habits. His book greatly expanded my understanding of my role as a lover, helping me to become a safer lover.

However, even before I stumbled upon the ancient account of Taoist lovemaking in the work ascribed to the famous Taoist sage, Laozi (or "Lao Tzu"), I realized that there was an inherent inconsistency in Chia’s teachings.

The Lazy Way to Stay in Love

Discover the Magic of Bonding Behaviors

Exotic lovers“All that we can surmise of humankinds genetic history argues for a more liberal sexual morality, in which sexual practices are to be regarded first as bonding devices and only second as a means for procreation.” ~ E.O. Wilson

While waiting for a concert to begin at our local county fair, my husband and I checked out a reptile exhibit that included an animal trainer with a live alligator resting calmly on his lap. As we stroked the gator, I asked the trainer why it was so tame. “I pet it daily. If I didn’t, it would quickly be wild again, and wouldn’t allow this,” he explained. I was surprised. Only months earlier I had begun to grasp the power of bonding behaviors (skin-to-skin contact, gentle stroking and so forth) to evoke the desire to bond without our having to do anything more.

What Can Chimps Teach the Church About Sex?

hug sculptureCurious about why a pope condemned karezza, I recently waded through the late Archbishop Exner's The Amplexus Reservatus (The Reserved Embrace). It traced some eye-opening Catholic doctrine about the purpose of marriage, much of which dates back to Church father Augustine of Hippo (b. 354 CE). He's well known for his prayer, "Grant me chastity and continence...but not yet!"

How to Talk to Cupid

What signals are you giving your mate?

Aphrodite reasoning with CupidHit by Cupid's arrow! It feels so good that you might seek a permanent bond, convinced that passion will keep you both quivering with ecstasy for a lifetime. Yet Cupid is a sneaky dude, or rather the biological agenda he personifies does not, in fact, promote enduring love without a little tweaking.

Why Stop Orgasm Research at Climax?

synapse[Huffington Post] Mary Roach's irreverent orgasm trivia reminds us that researchers, like porn makers, tend to snap their notebooks shut right after the money shot. Yet some of the most intriguing findings about orgasm may lie beyond its brief fireworks. Post-O data could one day help solve all kinds of mysteries, such as why lovers' libidos often go out of sync -- especially after those initial "honeymoon poppers" wear off.

Do Pair Bonders Need Different Sex Advice?

Are we training for sprints or marathons?

Fork in the roadWhat if the ideal sexual behavior for those who want to maintain a long-term pair bond is not the same as for those who prefer to change partners frequently? Perhaps there should be two norms for the sexually active—depending upon whether they wish to sustain a pair bond, or engage in sex without forming one.

Bill Gates and Better Condoms: Error 404?

condomsCondom compliance may be a matter of software, not hardware

Progress has stalled on teen condom use to ward off the spread of STIs. Bill Gates is convinced that better condoms will increase condom use by making sex more pleasurable. To this end, "His foundation will give a $100,000 grant to anyone with credible plans to make a condom that 'is felt to enhance pleasure.'" Apparently, after the initial $100k, each of 80 grantees can apply for a follow-up grant of up to $1,000,000. If there's a blueprint for a better condom in the ethers, this monster carrot will surely entice it into material form. However...

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