The late Japanese psychiatrist Shoma Morita used to advise disharmonious couples who came to him for therapy to do five things each day for the benefit of their mates, without waiting to be asked. He instructed them not to call attention to what they had done, or expect thanks.
Article by Marnia Robinson and Gary Wilson
Part I of this article explained that junk food (especially high sugar/high fat nutritionally-empty foods) and sexual stimulation (especially with the emphasis on climax rather than affectionate contact), although natural, have the potential to distort sound judgment. Both are examples of supranormal (unusually intense) stimulation, which reinforce learning – that is, they draw our exaggerated attention to anything associated with experiencing them. 'Learning reinforcement' is the same brain mechanism that distorts addicts' judgment, and locks them into their destructive behaviors. It occurs in the reward circuitry of the brain, and the neurochemical dopamine plays a critical role.
Reuniting - October, 2007
In science-speak, tasty sugary/fatty food and intense sexual stimulation are the two most potent 'natural reinforcers.' That is, these two perfectly natural attractions are likeliest to affect your brain somewhat like drugs (the term 'drug' includes substances like nicotine and alcohol).1 Specifically, they produce neurochemical events in the reward circuitry of the brain that are designed to bend your priorities.
The Toltec-Mayan traditions of Mexico and the Southwestern USA have their own lore about the careful cultivation of sexual energy. A few years ago, Merilyn Tunneshende described their practices in Don Juan and the Art of Sexual Energy.1 Most of the book is devoted to spiritual practices celibates can use, although the sages in her book clearly have great respect for the synergy between the polarities of male and female, and even the possibility of a profound celestial union between soul mates.
What do the following experiences have in common? (These are lovers' reports on the affectionate exchanges from Peace Between the Sheets)
Reuniting - September, 2007