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Resume - Fifty Pointers on Love, Sex and Married Life

Advice, Questions and Answers
Part I.
FIFTY POINTERS ON LOVE, SEX AND MARRIED LIFE

These apply to normal or average circumstances; they all have their exceptions.

(A) During Childhood:

1. Every mother should try to nurse her child for at least three months.

2. During the first year of every child's life it should be held naked against its mother's body at least an hour a day.

3. Every child, before puberty, should be taken into the mother's bed for at least an hour, mornings or evenings, daily if possible, but at least three times a week.

Chapter 6: Application of the Rules - Part 3

CASE VIII.

Consultation (a): Miss Esther K., twenty-seven years old, a teacher in a private school, came to my office in a disturbed state. She said she did not know what was wrong with her and burst into tears. Most of her story came out badly muffled by her handkerchief

It chiefly concerned Ted, a man thirty-two years old, whom she had met, a year ago, at a summer resort. He was a chemist employed by a big oil company. They had fallen in love at first sight and were together all day long during their two weeks' vacation. They had become so attached to each other that she had followed his suggestion, changed her school and moved to his town. In the beginning they met every evening, had dinner together, went to movies or concerts or listened to the radio, either at his apartment or at hers.

Chapter 6: Application of the Rules - Part 2

Group B.

EXAMPLES SHOWING IMPROVEMENT.

CASE IV.

Mrs. Florence W., thirty-two years old, an attractive, feminine type of woman, had first to be assured that her visit would remain entirely confidential as her husband did not

know that she was consulting me. She had been married for six years. It was a love marriage. For four years all had gone well. They had many things in common. But during the last two years he had neglected her more and more, spending most evenings away from home and, as she found out, with a young woman who was employed as his secretary. She was considering a divorce. But her two children were very close to their father, and her mother was also dependent on him. She asked my advice: Should she go to the secretary and ask her to give her husband up, or should she present him with the alternative - either dismiss his secretary or get a divorce? Or was that running too big a risk? Must she accept an intolerable situation merely for economic reasons? She thought not. For even if it came to a divorce, he would have to support them. Any judge, she asserted, would be on her side. Furthermore, she had worked before her marriage and believed that she could easily get another job.

Chapter 6: Application of the Rules - Part 1

(CASE HISTORIES)

THE AUTHOR'S FILES, especially those of the last decade, record the experiences of many couples who were advised either to change or to start their sex relations in accordance with the six rules. They include a number of exceptional cases but most of the cases may be regarded as typical, repeating the same problems with variations. The results have been excellent, but only when the couples were cooperative and strictly followed instructions. Otherwise they have had to content themselves with mere improvement. Where one of the partners refuses to obey the rules or does not want to change a faulty sex habit, the sex relationship continues unsatisfactory. Such a result cannot be blamed on the rules, any more than a schoolteacher can be held responsible for the failure of a child who plays truant.

Chapter 5: The Six Rules of Sex Intercourse - Part 6

The following examples will show the close relationship between an unsatisfactory sex life and both physical ailments and mental disturbances.

CASE I

On September 21st, 1939, at a neuro-psychiatric conference of the University of California in San Francisco, the seemingly in curable case of Mr. K. was presented. He was a man about thirty years old, suffering from stomach ulcers and high blood pressure, and so nervous that for two years he had been unable to work or sleep; he was incapable of any kind of concentration such as that required to read, write or listen to music. All treatment had proved useless. He had to be kept constantly under narcotics. After he had attempted to commit suicide, his case was brought before the conference for a group decision. At the author's request this man was put under his care.

Chapter 5: The Six Rules of Sex Intercourse - Part 5

Before ending this chapter, a few words addressed especially to the male reader.

As already stated it has been my experience that a physically adult man over thirty years of age usually resents being found a poor lover. He tends to blame any unsatisfactory aspect of his sex relations on his wife's frigidity. He also wants to have his local satisfaction whenever he desires it. Inasmuch as many physically adult men are still emotionally immature, that is to say still accustomed, as during their spoiled childhood, to receive rather than to give in the love relationship, they are unwilling to try to control themselves in the manner described. Everything that hinders immediate satisfaction of desire they find either annoying or irritating.

Chapter 5: The Six Rules of Sex Intercourse - Part 3

EVENT 4.

A fourth source of this new understanding of sex life is an experience from which the author has been able to draw conclusions of practical value, the experience of a neurotic girl. The details of this unusual case are taken from the author's notebook:

In March, 1926, I was asked to take care of a young woman whom I will call Mary. Although twenty-three years of age she looked sixteen.

Psychoanalysis in this case was held to be useless. Famous psychoanalysts of both the Freudian and Adlerian schools had tried, in vain, to help her. Therefore I was not asked to treat this supposedly hopeless case, but merely to find her a job in my sanitarium, which she could carryon without ever encountering a man, for the form her neurosis took was a deep-rooted fear of men. The mere sight of a man rendered her speechless. From the time of her puberty, her mother told me, no man had ever been able even to shake hands with her. Mary had a beautiful figure and a lovely face, blonde, with large blue eyes, cool as ice crystals, and was intelligent and well-educated. She was the object of the unfulfilled de sires of a number of young men-and of some not so young.

Chapter 5: The Six Rules of Sex Intercourse - Part 2

EVENT 2.

The conclusion the author drew after the experiments of the Arabian couple received corroboration, though it cannot be called proof, from a second source, the author's observation of certain sex practices of native tribes.

The South Sea Islanders rub their infants with their hands for hours to keep them pacified. Most of the mothers carry their babies on their naked backs while they work and the babies are happy and relaxed. What makes them happy? Is it not probable that it has something to do with the bodily con tact and the relaxing equilibration it provides for the infant's tension? Every mother knows that a crying baby can be appeased by laying it on her breast, even without giving it milk.

Chapter 5: The Six Rules of Sex Intercourse - Part 1

THIS CHAPTER gives the quintessence of more than thirty years' experience. It is the most important part of this book. Success in marriage can depend upon a knowledge of it; ignorance of it can lead to failure, with all its consequences: broken homes, emotional disturbances, juvenile delinquency, disease and crime.

For thirty years the author has hesitated to publish his findings because he could not prove them scientifically, even though they worked perfectly in practice. Now, encouraged by some new contributions to the problems of love and sex offered by the science of physics, he is emboldened to present certain experiences to his readers, incredible though they may sound.

Chapter 5: The Six Rules of Sex Intercourse - Part 4

(1) PREPARATION.

A period of love play involving caressing and kissing should precede the sex act. During this prelude there should be no impediment to full skin contact, and the man should seek by gentle caresses to concentrate his wife's sensations in her vagina (avoiding the clitoris completely)

and to render the vagina thoroughly moist. The reason the vagina must be moist is not just to facilitate entrance of the penis, but also because water is a good conductor of electricity. Their two different potentials of bio-electricity cannot equalize each other through a dry vagina, the chief cause of frigidity.

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