[Huffington Post] Mary Roach's irreverent orgasm trivia reminds us that researchers, like porn makers, tend to snap their notebooks shut right after the money shot. Yet some of the most intriguing findings about orgasm may lie beyond its brief fireworks. Post-O data could one day help solve all kinds of mysteries, such as why lovers' libidos often go out of sync -- especially after those initial "honeymoon poppers" wear off.
Cupid's Poisoned Arrow Topics
Are we training for sprints or marathons?
What if the ideal sexual behavior for those who want to maintain a long-term pair bond is not the same as for those who prefer to change partners frequently? Perhaps there should be two norms for the sexually active—depending upon whether they wish to sustain a pair bond, or engage in sex without forming one.
Condom compliance may be a matter of software, not hardware
Progress has stalled on teen condom use to ward off the spread of STIs. Bill Gates is convinced that better condoms will increase condom use by making sex more pleasurable. To this end, "His foundation will give a $100,000 grant to anyone with credible plans to make a condom that 'is felt to enhance pleasure.'" Apparently, after the initial $100k, each of 80 grantees can apply for a follow-up grant of up to $1,000,000. If there's a blueprint for a better condom in the ethers, this monster carrot will surely entice it into material form. However...
Huffington Post's editor requested this post in response to Roach's TED talk from a few years ago called "10 things you didn't know about orgasm"
Mary Roach's irreverent orgasm trivia reminds us that researchers, like porn makers, tend to snap their notebooks shut right after the money shot. Yet some of the most intriguing findings about orgasm may lie beyond its brief fireworks. Post-O data could one day help solve all kinds of mysteries, such as why lovers' libidos often go out of sync -- especially after those initial "honeymoon poppers" wear off.
Understand your partner's porn challenge and how you can help
You have no particular objection to porn, but you love your partner and he has decided to give up Internet porn after using heavily for years. Here are 5 ways you can support his effort:
1. Understand why he's quitting
Experience, not childhood or genes, configures individual reward-circuit wiring
"Intriguingly, the pleasure centre and the behaviour it guides are sculpted mostly by life experiences rather than by our genes. This challenges previous assumptions that dopamine function could be straightforwardly inherited." —Paul Stokes, MD, PhD
Can a guy keep himself faithful by jacking up oxytocin?
"A study published Tuesday in the Journal of Neuroscience has uncovered a surprising new property of oxytocin, finding that when men in monogamous relationships got a sniff of the stuff, they subsequently put a little extra space between themselves and an attractive woman they'd just met," wrote the LA Times recently.
The results surprised researchers. They had assumed oxytocin would make all men inch closer to cute females. Instead men in committed relationships moved farther away when dosed with oxytocin (and only when dosed). It's more evidence that pair-bonding is biological not cultural.
It's time to distinguish 'sexual orientation' from reversible 'sexual tastes'
The bulk of scientific evidence currently favors the view that the origins for most sexual desires are not cultural but innate. —Leon F. Seltzer
Such statements mislead people that all sexual inclinations are created equal and are immutable. This is simply not true.
NOTE: Obviously, Shona didn't realize that "bonding behaviors" are not karezza. Hopefully she'll figure out that karezza calls for intercourse!
After 13 years of marriage to my husband Keith, it’s fair to say that our once-active sex life has become a little sluggish. Recently, my libido seems to have given up the ghost, and too many nights are spent sleeping back-to-back in huffy silence. So when I asked Keith how he felt about testing out a revolutionary new sexual technique called ‘Karezza’ that I’d read about on the internet, he could not have responded more positively. In fact, he was so enthusiastic that I didn’t have the heart to tell him that a key part of this sexual technique was…er…not having sex — something we were already pretty expert at.