T and my Karezza practice has deepened. We've had to go through some frustration, some orgasms, some fighting, and then healing. But each step of the way has been really healing for both of us. It's funny how you don't really "know" what something is until you "do."
This past week during one of our practices T opened up afterward and asked me "are there any 'buts' in your heart about us?" She was sobbing (although it was a release and not despair). At that moment I felt the Spirit guide me to propose. I had had the engagement ring purchased for a while, and it was hidden away in my closet because I was waiting for the right moment. In that moment I realized that there were no 'buts' in my heart. More profoundly than I had ever felt it. We had just shared this completely intimate practice, and I think it was the first time I realized how incredibly blessed I am to have not only her, but also the gift of Karezza.
Thank you for being a good medium for an incredibly important message. We're all learning, I suppose, how to be mediums for God's love. Sometimes our stuff gets in the way, and I apologize if my 'stuff' has ever come through in our communications. I dearly appreciate your patience, kindness, and continued work.
One thing I've learned from you, maybe the most so far, about being a "writer" who will midwife a teaching through a book is simple: respond to emails.
I'm meeting a lot of "important" people lately, and a lot of people out there do not take the time to respond to emails from the heart. I want to make sure that I take the time, even if it's ever so briefly, to reply to anybody who reads my book and has questions. It's been cool to see how you've fielded my growth process with Karezza in our emails. I saw last night how it's set an example for me to aspire to in the future with my book.
So, thank you again so much from my heart. It's wonderful to be engaged to the woman of my dreams. And it all started because I had a vision in Peru that suggested I look for a book about orgasm addiction.
Please give Gary my love, too.
I actually walked out of a Tantra workshop a few weeks ago. It was so focused on the attainment of sexual/energetic "skills," and the speaker's "bottom line" (I kid you not), was that we need these skills of provoking better orgasms, and utilizing power and visualizing, etc, because all sexual relationships, without this, will get boring. "That's human nature," he said. "The only way to stay monogamous and still interested in each other sexually is to learn how to please each other in as many ways as possible, so you have a whole arsenal of erotic tools to get each other off."
While I appreciated him speaking of sex as a "practice," it felt to me like a kind of "dark arts" use of the energy current between the male and female charges. Plenty of information on how to manipulate each other to make the orgasms feel as good as possible. But no real mention of how to keep "love" and " tenderness" alive. Both T and I agreed that Tantra and Karezza (at least in this setting) were not focused on the same plane.
Note: Here's an email from him from a couple of years earlier:
I have given up orgasms for about six weeks, and the withdrawal, as
it turns out, was harder than cocaine, opiates, booze, or nicotine. I
spent a solid week weeping every night after returning from the
university where I teach. I couldn’t sleep, and I had almost zero appetite.
The thought of dating made me want to curl up into a ball and quit.
But here I am. I feel free.
[Six months later] I have fallen in love just this month with T. We are taking
things slower than I’ve ever done before in my life, which is totally
rewarding on all levels of my being!—