♥Healing the World - The Rise of the Goddess

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Heavenly Unionby Donna Philippe, the wife of the man who wrote "Awareness and Love"

It is obvious to me that committed couples are the ones who can heal the world by understanding the true, sacred purpose of sexuality. For the most part, we have lost the way to create a society of men and women who know how to love one another in the highest sense. And yet there is undeniable strength within each one that can bridge the gap between the separation of the sexes, especially when we mindfully engage in the daily practice of sacred sexual union with a faithful partner.

The rise of sexual dysfunction, pornography, sexual abuse and overall frustration in intimate relationships has caused a backlash of serious conflict between the sexes, as well as in the society at large. ...

But it is most important that women understand what is at stake. I feel that we are the ones who must inevitably guide men out of the muck and mire of sexual distortion and hunger by teaching them how to make love to us selflessly during the actual act of lovemaking. ...

Though it takes a man and a woman cooperating together to heal this rift, the greater burden lies with women.

We need to recognize the importance of not compromising any longer with standard, orgasmic mating sex. If women do not make a firm decision about this, if we continue to give in to a man who wants to regularly ejaculate and focus his attention on clitoral stimulation rather than love, then there will be no genuine healing of the same old dynamic that has been going on for centuries. There must be another way to make love!

Divine Union...We must fearlessly communicate this to men, but with passion and forgiveness, rather than with anger and criticism. Women have the strength and power within them to accomplish this for themselves and for the world.
The reason we need to take a stand for sacred sexuality is obvious. Regular, intense, orgasmic, ejaculatory sex often leads many couples to suffer a form of emotional estrangement in their relationship. ...

Ironically, it really is a very simple thing to fix. My husband and I learned a different way to make love and completely turned things around in our relationship in only a few short weeks. Now we can see dramatic changes in every aspect of our life together. We have healed ourselves of sexual frustration, resentment, anxiety and past hurts and disappointment simply by giving up one thing – the goal of orgasm.

It was a bold leap for me to move away from mating sex, which is driven by the primitive part of the brain, the amygdala, and wired to seek out fertilization opportunities. I remember the day I said to my husband. "I just can’t do this anymore. I’ve learned about a different way to make love, and I just can’t go back to the way it’s been." Fortunately for me, instead of walking away, he willingly abandoned masturbation, ejaculation and orgasm with me. He loved me enough to educate himself in the art of Karezza sex, which I had recently discovered. By letting go of the pursuit of this three-second event, we both opened ourselves to hours of deep connection and contentment on a daily basis. Though this may be hard to believe, there is no doubt to anyone who has experienced the sweet embrace of sensual, slow and tender lovemaking. ...

As women begin to understand the neurochemical effects that take place in the mammalian brain when engaging in orgasmic sex, I believe they can start to appreciate the importance of empowering themselves. Then, by taking a stand with their partners, devoting time to make love in a new way, they will experience true bonding and intimacy rather than the disconnection caused by fertilization-driven sex. ...

Here are three simple principles to reflect on.

  1. The way to begin is by educating yourself on the way to make love in an easy, relaxed way, such as taught in Karezza (the resource material is freely available at www.reuniting.info).
  2. Next you have to communicate to your current lover that you are no longer interested in having orgasms, and that you prefer to make love with an undepleted man in a whole new way.

  3. Finally, make a firm decision to give up the goal of orgasm, let go of the belief that you are required to have them in order to please yourself or your man.

...Men want to love women, but there are unhealthy distortions being promoted in the digital-electronic marketplace. Biologically we are wired for quick copulation so we can get fertilized, make babies and then move on to other potential mates. But this evolutionary tendency has not served us well in our personal relationships.

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Comments

Well...

I loved what she said and I do feel it is directed to women...I wish she would post this on the Women's Health/Sex Forum I visit sometimes (they would make her remove the Reuniting website link, but otherwise, it would be such a great post to see over there).

Donna's words make me realize how fortunate I am to have found a man who not only was willing to try karezza, but loves it and is amazingly good at it, too~~I think when two people love each other and are open to experimentation and exploration, the possibilities are endless. If a couple is such that one partner isn't willing to even try something (something so gentle and beautiful and non-threatening), I do wonder about the stability of that relationship in the long run.

rediscovered

Thanks for the reminder about the ♥

Donna's husband also worked on this. They called the other day, and he's more adamant about women taking a hard line than she is, I think. However, turns out he sent it before she was finished.

Gary and I both felt it overlooks the fact that women do some crazy stuff when driven by their limbic brains, too. I'm sure Donna would agree. And I think it's important to focus on what women can do to nourish men and make it easier for them to find that balance. Donna did that without thinking, which is probably why she only touched on it indirectly in this piece. In any case, it's impossible to cover everything in any one piece.

Yes, I agree that women

Yes, I agree that women drive relationship but I believe that men are built to steer them. Women offer the juice, men the direction. I don't think it's quite as black and white as that but a fair generalization. More accurately, the feminine offers the juice and the masculine the direction. As humans we all have feminine and masculine within us whether we're a man or a woman so we can animate either polarity.

As a man I made the decision not to orgasm on my own and it was a commitment to myself first. Second, I believed it would benefit our relationship in a positive way, but at that point it was just a hunch. At the time it was more a gut feeling than anything. This web site didn't exist back then and there were no forums to talk to others about such a choice. There was information on ejaculation control from Taoist sources, which gave me a starting point, but it was mainly an internal "yes" that got me started.

I don't think I said a whole lot about it at the time except telling her what I wanted to do and would she be kind enough stop moving when I said "STOP". I didn't tell her she should join me in avoiding orgasming or do anything different except the one request around "stop". Without that one bit of assistance I don't know if I could have done it totally on my own. I didn't preach the benefits of being non-orgasmic to her because, without much information, I didn't know what they might be. Taoist traditions don't encourage women to avoid orgasming anyway.

Other than reassuring her that I was actually quite satisfied making love in this new way, she saw the benefits for her right away. I didn't over use the "stop" request all that much and when I did it was only for a few seconds. Now I could go as long as she wanted, until she was completely satiated, and could never get enough of her. What's not to like? I've never met a woman who doesn't love attention and being adored.

She actually took quite some time before making a commitment to non-orgasmic love making herself. Again, we had no information suggesting the woman should do it as well, so we were simply feeling our way.

If I were to give fellow men advice around introducing karezza to a new lover, it would be this. First and foremost, do it for yourself. Make it your direction, your commitment to you. Men have been shoving shit down women's throats for so long, especially sexually, I'd do it by example. I can easily see how a woman can look at karezza as one more hare-brained male idea. Don't get me wrong, I would definitely and enthusiastically share with your new woman the virtues of non-orgasmic love making. Give her the book and a link to this web site, and then drop it, unless she asks you for more. Believe me, your doing by example will mean way more to her than anything you say.

Now if you just happen to meet a woman who gets right on board with you then you'll know you're one lucky man. If not then let patience be your way. I strongly believe that karezza style lovemaking is naturally the feminine way, in the feminine flow, and she will respond. You just may need to enlist her support around the "stop" thing in the beginning. You could tell her it's something that's important to you and that her satisfaction is just as important as well, lets work together.

If I had to do it all over again knowing what I know now, I'd do it basically the same way - with the addition of sharing the karezza information and sources to read. To be quite honest she'd follow me anyway. After 28 years I've pretty much proven that my direction is sound. Wouldn't it be great to start a new relationship DEMONSTRATING that your direction is sound?

So where is the network,

So where is the network, Donna? And what is Donna's username as a participant in this forum? I am very interested in this and strangely enough, after watching Diana Richardson's video this week and ordering and reading one of her books, have taken a new stand in my dedication to this work, so what she is speaking resonates with my experience - it becomes very clear that women must reclaim their bodies as an actual place, must become stewardesses of themselves again. A steward is a caretaker. I would rather be a stewardess than a goddess. This is my body, after all, my garden. I know of very deep gardens that lie beneath rusty gates, chambers dripping with dew that have yet to be entered. The Garden of Eden held within us. All we need is to reclaim the snake.

This is very very threatening work we are doing, because we are reprogramming our brains. It is completely revolutionary, the next frontier of emancipation.

Practicing this with my lover, becoming one circuit, it becomes clear to me that there are very definite moments of decision making that take place while making love, and this decision making is the decision to choose between different programs. Shall it be a 0 or a 1? It is a simple switch, a simple decision. Amp it up and go for "it" or tone it down and "wake up" into love. Normally we choose to go for "it" - become distracted, because this is safer and easier and less demanding than choosing the liberation of giving and receiving divine presence. The only demand that going for it requires of us is our complete subservience to something that does not really deliver when the chips actually fall.

Donna and Kevin

only check email at the library, because they endeavor to live a very simple, sustainable lifestyle and have opted not to get Internet at home. You can contact them via their website: http://www.earthstar.newlibertyvillage.com/

But they love reading people's responses to their material. Anyone can PM me for their email address, too. As far as I know they haven't joined the forum because they don't really have enough access time to participate. Instead they compose pieces for us and take them to the library via jump drive. And then I share them. Smile

So profound~

[quote=hotspring]This is my body, after all, my garden. I know of very deep gardens that lie beneath rusty gates, chambers dripping with dew that have yet to be entered. The Garden of Eden held within us. All we need is to reclaim the snake.[/quote]

This is perfection. Thank you, hotspring~

rediscovered

Yeah . . . what I've been

Yeah . . . what I've been learning is that what is perhaps seen or felt as the garden, that divine space - the vagina - is only the very path leading to the garden. Deep penetration as Diane reccomends means allowing the masculine charge to move up through the gate and into the garden of the womb then solar plexus then heart then third eye and around. In order to actually get this full circuit going, its necessary to heal the wounds at the gate. I do have wounds at the gate that can only be opened within loving presence. No amount of hot sex will open that gate. We find we are only at the beginning when we have stopped being compulsive, we have only arrived at the first step. And to reclaim the snake, we must choose men who will reclaim their penises as shafts of divine love. If men demonized the snake originally, they must find its innocence again.

Snakes are associated with earth energy. They traverse the edge between earth and open air. They are continually transforming themselves, shedding and being reborn. Thinking of men's penises as snakes, we must believe that they can shed layers of compulsion, of performance, of tension, and become constantly renewed in sensitivity and devotion to the earth energy of womankind.

Exploring this new way of lovemaking, it is beautiful to give the man permission to have his penis become more like a snake than a hard rod. We find the snake/penis can become not a deceptive or malicious creature, but a flexible and accommodating transformer of energy that knows how to rest on the boughs of the Great Tree of Life that is Woman.

Thank you

Thanks for the development of these ideas, Hotsprings. My husband liked it, too. He is "working" on a novel about the Garden and actually has a story arc and structure for it. But, as Garrison Keillor says, the best reason to explain your frequent naps in the hammock is "I'm working on my novel."

"Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Saw this today at an exhibit

Saw this today at an exhibit on Columbian culture and thought about the garden talk here. I know this isn't referring to the same garden, but it deals with femininity as a whole. This woman's physical work with food filtered through her femininity links the gardens in some sense.

“Bitter cassava is extremely poisonous. If not properly prepared,
the person eating it may die.
As an Upichía Indian, I learned from my mother how to prepare it well.
I go to the garden, and I uproot several plants.
I fill my basket and carry it home on my back.
Then I peel all the cassava; I get out the grater and earthen pot,
and I grate, grate....
For me, as a native Indian, cultivating the garden is very important.
Without it there is no life, malocas, dances, or rituals.”
- Gertrudis Matapí Upichía Indian

Upichía are now commonly known as Matapí.

Happens all the time~

Once you find your partner and start doing this, you'll find there are different "types" of karezza, depending on your moods and level of alertness, lol.

There is horny karezza ("I've gotta get in there" as my lover has been known to say) and sleepy karezza (too tired to think so you just connect and go to sleep that way) and then there is marathon karezza (you've been doing it for two hours and you've reached such a mellow stage that you both just doze in and out of sleep--very lovely).

You will find that it *all* feels good and there is no right or wrong way to do it. What has happened with us is we are now both on the same energy pattern so there hasn't been a time where he fell asleep while I was lying there all energized and wondering where he went (I think the woman's energy gives the man energy and vice-versa and when one drops the other drops, too.). It seems to work out just fine. Smile

rediscovered