by Donna Philippe, the wife of the man who wrote "Awareness and Love"
It is obvious to me that committed couples are the ones who can heal the world by understanding the true, sacred purpose of sexuality. For the most part, we have lost the way to create a society of men and women who know how to love one another in the highest sense. And yet there is undeniable strength within each one that can bridge the gap between the separation of the sexes, especially when we mindfully engage in the daily practice of sacred sexual union with a faithful partner.
The rise of sexual dysfunction, pornography, sexual abuse and overall frustration in intimate relationships has caused a backlash of serious conflict between the sexes, as well as in the society at large. ...
But it is most important that women understand what is at stake. I feel that we are the ones who must inevitably guide men out of the muck and mire of sexual distortion and hunger by teaching them how to make love to us selflessly during the actual act of lovemaking. ...
Though it takes a man and a woman cooperating together to heal this rift, the greater burden lies with women.
We need to recognize the importance of not compromising any longer with standard, orgasmic mating sex. If women do not make a firm decision about this, if we continue to give in to a man who wants to regularly ejaculate and focus his attention on clitoral stimulation rather than love, then there will be no genuine healing of the same old dynamic that has been going on for centuries. There must be another way to make love!
...We must fearlessly communicate this to men, but with passion and forgiveness, rather than with anger and criticism. Women have the strength and power within them to accomplish this for themselves and for the world.
The reason we need to take a stand for sacred sexuality is obvious. Regular, intense, orgasmic, ejaculatory sex often leads many couples to suffer a form of emotional estrangement in their relationship. ...
Ironically, it really is a very simple thing to fix. My husband and I learned a different way to make love and completely turned things around in our relationship in only a few short weeks. Now we can see dramatic changes in every aspect of our life together. We have healed ourselves of sexual frustration, resentment, anxiety and past hurts and disappointment simply by giving up one thing – the goal of orgasm.
It was a bold leap for me to move away from mating sex, which is driven by the primitive part of the brain, the amygdala, and wired to seek out fertilization opportunities. I remember the day I said to my husband. "I just can’t do this anymore. I’ve learned about a different way to make love, and I just can’t go back to the way it’s been." Fortunately for me, instead of walking away, he willingly abandoned masturbation, ejaculation and orgasm with me. He loved me enough to educate himself in the art of Karezza sex, which I had recently discovered. By letting go of the pursuit of this three-second event, we both opened ourselves to hours of deep connection and contentment on a daily basis. Though this may be hard to believe, there is no doubt to anyone who has experienced the sweet embrace of sensual, slow and tender lovemaking. ...
As women begin to understand the neurochemical effects that take place in the mammalian brain when engaging in orgasmic sex, I believe they can start to appreciate the importance of empowering themselves. Then, by taking a stand with their partners, devoting time to make love in a new way, they will experience true bonding and intimacy rather than the disconnection caused by fertilization-driven sex. ...
Here are three simple principles to reflect on.
- The way to begin is by educating yourself on the way to make love in an easy, relaxed way, such as taught in Karezza (the resource material is freely available at www.reuniting.info).
Next you have to communicate to your current lover that you are no longer interested in having orgasms, and that you prefer to make love with an undepleted man in a whole new way.
Finally, make a firm decision to give up the goal of orgasm, let go of the belief that you are required to have them in order to please yourself or your man.
...Men want to love women, but there are unhealthy distortions being promoted in the digital-electronic marketplace. Biologically we are wired for quick copulation so we can get fertilized, make babies and then move on to other potential mates. But this evolutionary tendency has not served us well in our personal relationships.