The Cayce readings suggest that most of us have a bit of purifying to do if we would redirect the use of our sexual energy. The ideal would be to educate children before they reach their teen years.1 It is unwise to wait until after they have already developed the habits that create 'a burning within.' Train young children that sex is a sacred privilege - both the cause of man's downfall and a means to purification and oneness.2 Give children timely precautions, and teach them how the biological urge arises and how it may become destructive - a pathological condition in the body and mind - if it is turned to selfish motives and the gratification of desires. 3 Because of the hidden risks, parents, too, need to be educated about the endocrine system.4 (See this article for parents Why Shouldn’t Johnny Watch Porn If He Likes? and this slideshow for youngsters and parents.)
Another reading says to "teach children the beauty and sacredness of sex, and how to contain themselves within themselves."5 Lest there be any doubt about the meaning of this phrase, the readings advise adults that they can relieve stress and regenerate the body by stopping masturbation.6 This view is currently out of fashion, but given the brain chemistry changes that orgasm produces in the reward circuit, it is likely that humanity will have to revisit its faith in the tremendous benefits of frequent masturbation before much longer. Potent sexual stimuli are what scientists call a "natural reinforcer." That is, like junk food, such stimuli can have a drug-like effect on the human brain.
At the same time, however, desire is a dynamic energy, which it is unwise to repress.7 Conserving sexual energy without giving it out in service to others can create ill health by over-charging the system.8 Therefore, especially if one is single, it is helpful to have non-sexual outlets, such as creativity, spiritual pursuits, or service, to express one's life force energy. According to the readings, Cayce's psychic powers and ability to serve others derived from his sexual energy.9
The Commentary speaks of a purification process of ten days to cleanse the reproductive force. In my personal experience, the temporary mood swings, cravings, feelings of annoyance, and so forth from a passion bout seem to last about two weeks. However, it takes longer than that for most adults to master a new habit.
How do we go about the purification process?
One can find Daoist, Hindu, and Tibetan techniques that force the conserved sexual energy upward, away from the sexual center. However, the Cayce readings caution that raising the kundalini energy is dangerous unless one has "crucified desire in oneself." Without this preparation, the results are unstable and the kundalini may inflame desires, rather than enhancing true spirituality. 10 Cayce also points out that kundalini techniques are a means of attaining celibacy, rather than spiritual union. 11
In my experience, a cooperative effort with a partner is the key to a stable transition from conventional to non-instinctual sex. A gentler, more heart-centered, non-performance oriented approach seems to work better than techniques that force the life force energy upward — perhaps because the calmer, more giving, approach sustains oxytocin levels. Therefore, I recommend that those who want to experience the benefits of making love without orgasm take a very gradual, generous approach, beginning with two weeks of affectionate, selfless exchanges like foot massages, head massages, meditating while holding hands, and so forth. "Hold," as Cayce says, "to that love which is un-sexed!" 12
When both partners are ready to move into intercourse, I recommend they put themselves on a schedule (not every day), and make love very slowly and tenderly with their focus on (1) giving their loving energy to each other, and (2) periods of stillness devoted to aligning with the Divine.13 They would also be wise to continue the affectionate, non-intercourse exchanges on days they do not have intercourse.14.
Another practical approach to purification of the sexual center is to abstain from intercourse for a season (three months), and focus on the emotional aspects of the relationship. One man describes his experience in an interview:
A hundred days is a season. It's enough time for the limbic system — the basic drives — to be changed…. The first month is a very intense shift. I really find it necessary to intensify my sadhana [meditation]. I'm containing that powerful energy, harmonizing it and balancing it and creating a more sattvic (pure, peaceful) state for my bodymind.
During the second month, I start to experience an ambient sense of bliss. I get more sensual joy just from being alive! My wife and I have learned that it is really important to enhance our skills of being sensual through loving touch, such as exchanging massages or cuddling. It's like being on a three-month first date. During the second month, it becomes clear that my sole means of expression and of making connections is from the heart. I literally wake up and think of ways to shower my wife and daughter with love, so I can get my needs for intimacy met, because the only means I have for being really deeply satisfied is through the heart chakra!
The third month is so blissful. Things just get higher and more wonderful! I thank God that the yogis were patient enough to look into things this deeply. I taste something that I would have never, ever considered if I had listened to all the mainstream cultural cues.15
- 1. 5747-3
- 2. 5747-3
- 3. 826-6
- 4. p. 49, 281-54
- 5. 911-2
- 6. (3686-1) In several other readings Cayce told sufferers that excess sexual stimulation and masturbation had caused physical imbalances and mental disturbances, and advised them to put their life force to more productive use. (268-2, 960-2, 1330-1, 34-4, 3700-1, 5187-1)
- 7. 2072-16, 911-2, 3428-1, 826-6
- 8. 1436-1
- 9. 294-140
- 10. p. 48, 2475-1
- 11. 2329-1
- 12. 5747-3
- 13. "Silence if ye would hear the Voice of thy Maker!" 281-29
- 14. For those who like structure, a full three-week program called the 'Ecstatic Exchanges' can be found in the back of the book Cupid's Poisoned Arrow, by Marnia Robinson
- 15. Yogi Times magazine article, 'Seasonal Celibacy.'